


Impure Minds

by Kaira_chan



Category: Kuroshitsuji
Genre: Dark, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Josei, Mystery, Romance, Tragedy, gender-bender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-20
Updated: 2010-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-08 04:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaira_chan/pseuds/Kaira_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander (OC) has a past that can be questioned to outsiders. No one knows his secret other than his butler Sairi(OC). So when Ciel Pantomhive appears with his butler Sebastian on a stormy night because the bridge is coincidentially flooded and blocking their way home, everythinb starts to go wrong. Alexander starts to doubt himself and even starts to distrust in his butler. He doesn't want to continue on, but Ciel is working with Sebastian to straighten out all the loose ends and the answers to the questions just aren't what everyone thought them to be.</p><p>Kuroshitsuji is owned by Yana Toboso, all right reserved to him. Sairi and the twins are my original characters. Any similarities this story or it's characters have to real people is totally coincidential. This is work of completely fiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Within the room

"Alexander Botchan, what is the matter?"

"Nothing is the matter..."

On the balcony of a grand white mansion, sat a small boy. He had silky brown hair and creamy eyes to match. The boy looked over the lake that took up most of the land in back of the mansion. Several servants were scattered around the lake, pruning the bushes and planting tulips of many colors.

"Then why do you look so solemn today?"

Alexander looked at his butler, his creamy eyes unwavering. The butler was tall and elegant. He had light green eyes and beautifully smooth skin. His hair was kept long, at Alexanders and was always pulled into a low pony tail that hung just past the butlers shoulders.

"Don't question me Sairi..." Alexander looked back down to the servants and sighed, "I'm hungry."

"What is it that you would like to eat, Botchan?" Sairi followed Alexander off the balcony and into the library.

"Crème brûlée."

"That's not a meal, Botchan," Sairi sighed and took out a rose gold pocket watch to check the time, "It's almost time for lunch, how about something decent?"

Alexander walked out the library and into a long hallway and looked up and down the corridor, not sure where to go.

"I want Crème brûlée," Alexander wished to go down to the parlor and play with his Brittany Spaniel, Merrely as Sairi made the Crème brûlée.

Sairi sighed, "You may have that for desert, after you eat a proper lunch."

Alexander turned to look up and Sairi, fuming, "You dear ignore what I have to say?"

Sairi knelt down to Alexander's height and smiled, "Botchan should not make such faces."

Alexander's eyes widened at how Sairi treated him like a child. Angered, Alexander slapped Sairi across the face, red in the face.

Sairi didn't stop Alexander from hitting him, though he could have, he had known well that Alexander would have hit him.

"I have to listen to your parents Botchan, they told me to make sure you ate properly."

Alexander turned away, not wanting to hear anything about his parents. "So you listen to them first before you listen to me?"

Sairi stood and patted off the lint that accumulated around his knee. "I have to, they hired me."

"But they assigned you to me," Alexander looked up to Sairi distastefully, "That means I come first, not them."

Sairi smiled and took lead towards the parlor. "But if I listen to you completely, then I'll be fired," he looked back to his master, "You don't want that, do you?"

Alexander looked away and followed quietly, thinking, _Stupid Butler._

Downstairs, several maids made themselves busy around the parlor, dusting and replacing the flowers in each of the many vases. As Alexander entered the room, everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him. They all smiled at the sight of him and curtseyed. Then in unison they said,"Good afternoon Alexander Botchan!"

Alexander smiled slightly at his servants, then waved his hand slightly, "You may all take a lunch break. I want the parlor to myself."

The maids bowed again, then headed to the back of the mansion where the maid living quarters were.

"Sairi, find-"

Sairi came from around the stairs, Merrely at his heels.

Merrely's tailed wagged and walked to Alexander's side and stayed till his master was ready to walk about.

"Sairi," Alexander stroked Merrely's head, "I want you to go tell the servants outside it's time to come in."

Sairi nodded and headed to the porch. Alexander scratched behind Merrely's head and watched Sairi open the doors to outside. What he was expecting was the same blue skies and brightly colored atmosphere, but instead he found outside to be gray. He walked up to the doors, surprised, Merrely trotting close behind.

"Sairi," Alexander's voice was warning.

Sairi nodded and hurriedly made his way to the back. As much as the young master seemed to be cold, he cared a lot for his servants. Then again, whatever his parents didn't care for, he did.

Soon a hoard of servants dressed in brownish work attire appeared before him. They were all covered in dirt from working, but they didn't look overworked. The servants waited for Alexander's next orders.

"I need two of you to go and secure the stables. Make sure that the horses can't get away if they become spooked."

Two of the servants broke away from the group and rushed off to the stables.

"The rest of you go around the back way to your quarters, I don't want mud tracks running through the mansion."

They all bowed and hurried away. The only one left was Sairi, who stood partially in the drizzle.

"What are you doing Sairi? Get out of the rain," Alexander stepped back into the house, awaiting his butler to follow.

"Botchan, I hear the sound of a carriage," Sairi looked to Alexander, his hair starting to stick to his face.

"Near here?" Alexander thought out loud. The boy moved away from the doors, then came back with a black umbrella, "Go find out what's going on Sairi."

-

At the gates, Sairi stood, partially damp and hair dripping. The rain had gotten heavier and fell around him in sheets of freezing water. Sairi waited patiently and was soon rewarded with the sight of a carriage being pulled by two silver horses being manned by a butler with red eyes.

"State your business!" Sairi yelled over the pelting rain.

"My young master needs a place to stay the night and the river up ahead has flooded the bridge," the other butler replied.

Sairi thought for a moment, then unlocked the gates, and signaled for the butler to follow him.

-

Alexander sat on a porch bench, Merrely laying at his heels. Looking through the rain, the young boy saw a carriage making its way to the mansion, Sairi leading the way underneath the black umbrella.

"What is this Sairi?" Alexander stood, staring at the carriage and the butler.

"The bridge is flooded Botchan; I thought that it might be in your best interest to let them stay here till the water goes down."

The butler manning the carriage hopped down from the seat to go open the door and to Alexander's surprise, a boy his age stepped out.

"Sairi," Alexander started as he backed into the mansion, "Ready our guests a room, then go about a late lunch." The boy left the porch, Merrely following behind him.

Sairi smiled as he led the guests into the parlor. "I'm sorry for the young master's rudeness, he's not used to being around other..." he looked down to the small boy, "People his age."

Inside the parlor, Sairi summoned two maids, then told them to spread two beds, which they complied with well.

"Oh," Sairi turned to the guests, "My name is Sairi, young Alexander's butler," he bowed.

"I am Ciel Phantomhive, head of the Funtom toy company, and this is my butler, Sebastian."

Sairi placed the umbrella back in the closet near the door and produced a towel for Sebastian who was dripping, "Please take this. I'm afraid that the young master doesn't like tracks running through the house."

"Of course," Sebastian took the towel and along with Ciel, followed Sairi up the twin staircases to the rooms that were being readied for them.

"When lunch is ready, I'll have a maid come and guide you to the dining hall. The young master will be there to accompany you."

Ciel nodded, "Thank you."

Sairi bowed then strode off to his master.

"Sebastian," Ciel started into his room, which was just as divine as his own room at the manor back home.

Sebastian followed him into the room and set down the suit case which he had brought with him from the carriage, then went to the bathroom to look over the bath that had been pre-made for Ciel.

Ciel stood by the bed, looking around, waiting impatiently and cold.

"Botchan, the water is fine for you to use," Sebastian stood at the bath door.

Ciel paid no mind to his butler, instead he asked, "When will the rain let up?"

Sebastian smiled, "Do you not like this place Botchan?"

Cieal scowled, but didn't answer.

"Botchan is still a child," Sebastian smiled, "Are you jealous?"

Ciel looked at Sebastian, then motioned for him to come and undress him so he could bath. Sebastian complied with a sly smile.

...

"Botchan?" Sairi knocked on Alexander's room door, "Botchan I need to get you ready for lunch."

"Go away Sairi!"

Sairi sighed and took out a key from his pocket and twisted it around in his fingers.

"You need to host our guests, since your parents aren't here."

"They'll be fine, besides, I'm a child, I don't need to do such things."

"I'm coming in."

"No, Sairi-!"

Sairi unlocked the door and walked in with Merrely growling at him.

"I'll ready a bath for you."

"Sairi, you disobeyed me," Alexander growled.

"That is true, but remember, I am your parents butler before I am yours."

"You knew who was in that carriage, didn't you?"

Sairi walked over to Alexander who sat in the middle of his huge king sized bed, leaned over, then dragged Alexander towards him.

"Stop it, leg go of me, let go of me!" Alexander pounded on Sairi's chest and kicked at him to try and push away.

Sairi grabbed both of Alexander's arms and fell over him, holding him to the bed. The butler looked squarely into the boy's creamy eyes.

"I was ordered to make sure you act responsibly as well. Seeing you don't listen to your parents at all, I have been put in charge of making sure you comply to their wishes."

Alexander looked away, "I don't like other kids..."

"I understand that Botchan, but you need to do this."

"You did this on purpose."

"Maybe, though either way, I believe that it would be best if you tried and regained your playful nature."

Alexander laughed slightly. "I have not the slightest idea what you're talking about."

Sairi stood and pulled Alexander into a sitting position, "I believe that you do know exactly what I'm talking about." The butler started to unbutton Alexander's top with a calm expression. "The type of personality you had when he was around."

Sairi took off the high necked shirt and revealed a chemise and underneath it was a tight vest. The butler left those on and instead placed his hand behind Alexander's head and pulled out a pin allowing the boys hair to flow past his back in long waves.

Alexander blushed, brows furrowed, "I thought we had agreed to never talk about him anymore?"

"Lady Alexandria, "Sairi started, "It is okay to speak of him on a daily basis."

Alexandria looked down, "No, it's not okay to talk about him..."

Sairi combed his fingers through the girls hair fondly, but did not speak.

"It's not okay to talk about him, because... It's my fault he's dead."


	2. The family portrait

The two master's ate quietly, not looking up from their meal to look at the other. Sairi stood next to Alexander, smiling all the while. He knew just how uncomfortable Alexander was and bathed in it. There was never really a time when Sairi saw Alexander in a distressed state.

"What are you all doing?..." Alexander placed down his spoon and looked to the back of the room where the kitchen door was opened and several of the maids heads poked out, "Are you done working?"

The maids straitened their backs, surprised that they were caught. One of them stepped forward, head down, "Well... I wanted to know if I could talk to the young lord."

Ciel looked up, knowing that he was being talked about.

Alexander waited for a proper explanation.

"You see, I have a boy back at home and he absolutely loves the toys from the Funtom's company," the maid paused and looked to Ciel, "I promised him that if I ever met the one who ran the company that I would tell him thank you."

Ciel was caught off guard and was unsure what to say. How was one supposed to react? Sebastian cleared his throat quietly, as if to hint his master what to do. Quickly, as in to fill in his pause, he smiled broadly and said, "Your welcome."

Sebastian smiled to himself, pleased with Ciel's reaction.

The maid blushed, then hurried herself back into the kitchen.

Alexander watched the maid leave, his face slightly flushed, then stood, body leaned over the dining table. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to excuse me. As you may have realized, my Father and Mother are absent and as the only one who knows how to finish the work around here, I must take my leave."

Sairi pulled back Alexander's chair as he straightened his back. "If you need anything, please feel free to ask one of the many servants, I'm sure they will be able to help you."

Alexander turned and left with Sairi at his side.

"Quite the character, don't you think so Botchan?" Sebastian asked and pulled back Ciel's chair.

Ciel didn't answer as he stood and placed his back on the table. He started to the door and finally said, "Have you realized, Sebastian, in the family portrait..."

"That there is a set of twins standing with Lord Vertrad and Lady Penelope? Yes, I have."

Ciel walked into the parlor and stared at the large picture hanging above the landing between the twin cases.

"It would be weird to take the girl on a business trip and leave behind the boy, is that what you are thinking Botchan?"

Ciel continued to stare at the picture and was easily reminded of the one that used to hang in his manor, but he had asked Sebastian to remove it. The picture had become a eyesore to him and this one was no different.

"Botchan, what would you like to do?"

"There is nothing for me to do here other than listen to the rain fall down and wait so I can return to the manor..." Ciel went to the stairs, ready to climb up them when he saw a white and brown dog sleeping just under the arch of the stairs. He scowled and marched up the steps, "And it had better be quick."

-

Alexander sat at his desk, head on the papers that he should be sorting, and sighed angrily.

"What are you up to Sairi?"

"Nothing, Botchan."

"It must be something."

"You're just assuming things again Botchan."

"Dammit Sairi," Alexander stood up, enraged, "You knew that that Ciel kid was on there! You always know what you're doing!"

"I will take that compliment graciously," Sairi bowed.

"No Sairi, stop it," Alexander fell into his chair and closed his eyes, exhausted, "I don't know why you're doing this, but stop it."

Sairi knelt down by Alexander's side and swept back the boys hair. "Botchan, I only think of your best interest. That is my top priority."

"No, your top priority is listening to my parents, as you have said," Alexander batted away Sairi's hand.

Sairi stood and chuckled, "It should be, but your parent ordered me to make your best interest my top priority."

Alexander growled and looked over his work, stressed. The last thing he wanted were distractions, but now, that's exactly what he had. Maybe the best thing to do in this situation was to get his parents to fire Sairi, because he was the source of his troubles on a day to day basis.

Sairi leaned over Alexander and pointed at the words on the paper. "This company is one to watch out for. They have tried hard in the past to top our merchandise with phony copies."

Alexander nodded, irritated, "I have known this Sairi, there is no need to recite it over and over again."

Sairi picked up the papers and read them like he usually did and answered Alexander, "Because you don't usually remember to document everything correctly, Botchan."

"You're over stepping your boundaries."

"Am I?"

"You are," Alexander leaned on his hand and wrote with the other, feeling more and more exhausted.

"Would you like me to go make the Crème brûlée now?" Sairi smiled and peered slightly over the papers he was looking over.

"I'm no longer in the mood..." Alexander grumbled.

Sairi chuckled and set the papers down in a neat pile, then leaned over the side of the chair and made Alexander look at him.

"Lady Alexandria, are you tired?"

Alexander blushed, but was unable to turn away. "I told you, you are allowed only to call me that in my room."

"And is this not your room?" Sairi brushed his fingers over the boy's lips, getting closer to his face.

Alexander stiffened and gripped into his chair.

"Botchan, Ciel-san would like to have an audience with you."

One of the maids rapped on the wooden door that stood to the left of Alexander.

Sairi smiled deviously and asked, not moving, "What would you like, Botchan?"

Still in shock, Alexander stuttered, "Le...Let him in, Sairi." The boy gulped as his butler moved away from him and towards the door. He tried hard to slow down his beating heart and compose himself.

Sairi opened the door in a swift bow and Ciel and his butler came in diligently.

Watching him come in, Alexander tried not to stare rudely.

"What can I do for you, Phantomhive-san?"

Ciel walked to Alexander's desk and sat where the boy indicated.

For a while, Ciel just stared. He looked at Alexander through his single eye, then looked down and said silently. "You haven't changed at all Alex."

Alexander's eyes widened and looked at Sairi who stood at his side.

Ciel looked back up, confused about the silence, then chuckled. "Do you not remember me Alex?"

"It...It's not that, I just didn't believe you remembered me... Ciel..." Alexander fidgeted with his fingers under the table.

"We were childhood friends," Ciel replied softly, "How could I forget you?"

Alexander nodded, placing a smile on his face. "Well, I was slightly caught off guard myself, I wasn't sure if it was really you," he paused, "You, Ciel, has changed quite a lot."

Ciel 's smile melted away and nodded, "That I have." His tone was slightly dark.

"Well," Alexander stared out the window to his right, "I highly doubt the rain will let up anytime soon. You are free to stay here as long as you wish or is needed." Alexander tried hard to keep a stern untouched expression.

"I am glad for your hospitality, but that isn't why I came up here, Alexander," Ciel leaned over, "I came up here wondering why Alexandria is with your parents instead of you."

Alexander hid his surprise well and replied, "I don't mean to sound rude, Ciel, but is that really any of your concern?"

Sairi stared down to his master from the corner of his eye.

"That it is not, but I ask out of worry. You were the one that always went on the trips with your family, where as Alexandria was looked upon as a nuisance, and only brought along because she was not allowed to stay in a house full of male servants by herself."

Alexander stood abruptly, "Ciel, I am most delighted that you are worried about me, but please rest assured that everything is well." He stepped away from his desk and straightened his collar, Now if you don't mind, I have to go. It's been a long day and I am tired. Please feel free to wonder about the mansion."

Sairi took lead before Alexander and led him out the library and to his room.

"Sebastian, something is not right here..." Ciel thought.

"And why is it, my lord, that it would bother you so?"

"I don't have to answer that."


	3. Secret Revealed

_ _It was our 12_ _ _ _th_ _ _ _ birthday... Mom and Dad had made us matching outfits in our favorite color, turquoise. Though I received something special from him. He had made a bow to match and placed it in my hair before the party. I was really excited about the party and spending it with him, but he seemed more reserved about the day. He rarely spoke and when he did, it was only a few words. Despite this, I didn't acknowledge his sudden change in moods. I should have, seeing he was usually very observant and talkative, often even telling the servants exactly what to do on big events such as that day, but he left the decisions to mom and dad that day. I should have seen how sad he looked while he sat alone in the library doing his work or how his lack of attention to Merrely made her sad. I should have seen that in my ignorance that he was dieing._ _

_ _But I didn't. I left him to rot alone. Though we were from the same pod, the same egg; life stream, I did not catch the signals radiating from his body and mind that screamed, 'Help me, help me, Alexandria, hep me!'_ _

_ _I didn't see! I left him... I left him to die alone..._ _

_ _It's my fault, mine. _ _

_ _Alexander, don't forgive me, it's my fault._ _

Alexandria awoke from her sleep, breathing heavily and teary eyed. She looked out the window parallel to her large bed and heard the rain still pouring in thick sheets which pounded like the hands of God on the mansion walls. The wind howled like wolves and whistled through the trees outside. Unable to fight the fear within her, Alexandria pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her blanket around her body and cried. Even as a small child, Alexandria had been morbidly afraid of storms and to make matters worst, in her dream, she had seen her brothers dead body.

"Alex... Alexander, my dear brother..."

Biting her lip, the girl tried to veer away from the fear within her body with pain.

It didn't work.

Outside Alexandria's door, Sairi stood, listening quietly to the sobs coming from his masters room. He did not make an advance towards the door, he just stood there, waiting, hoping, that maybe, just for once, other than calling out to her dead brother, Alexandria would call out to the very alive Sairi. But she never did. She was too strong and prideful to allow her butler to come to her rescue.

...

"Botchan, Botchan, it is time to awake."

Sebastian stood over Ciel's bed, back straight and face untouched by emotion. He looked at the small body of his master, delicate and easily broken. If touched by the wind, he would fall so easily apart.

"Botchan, wake up."

Ciel stirred slightly, but instead of opening his eyes, he rolled to the side. Sebastian sighed.

"Botchan," Sebastian grabbed Ciel's covers and ripped them from his body. The sheets flew into the air and revealed Ciel in his long night gown. "It is time to wake up." Sebastian's voice was firm, but tender still.

Ciel's eyes opened, the coldness in the air crawling over his body. He sat up, cold and tired, but very angry.

"Sebastian, I am not back at the manor, leave me be so I can sleep."

"Botchan," Sebastian bowed, sheets hanging in his arms, "Breakfast will be ready in an hour. Alexander's butler, Sairi informed me a moment ago."

Ciel sighed, staring at Sebastian.

The butler smiled and helped the boy out of bed. "Does Botchan wish to eat his meal in bed like a child?"

Ciel scowled, but did not answer, allowing Sebastian to undress him.

"The water had better be ready."

"Of course," Sebastian smiled and led the way to the bath.

In the bathroom, Sebastian placed Ciel into the water fondly and went about washing his back. His hand brushed over the emblem on his back, making Ciel shiver with the horrible memories from his past.

"While you eat, would you like me to go see if the river is still flooded?"

Ciel thought for a moment, looking into the water and shook his head. "No... That's not what I wish for you to do."

"Oh?" Sebastian set down the wash cloth and draped a towel over Ciel's shoulders as he stood.

"I wish for you to something else."

Sebastian smiled and bowed before the dripping Ciel who stared at him with cold and unreadable eyes. Ciel didn't even have to say what he wished for and Sebastian already knew. So Sebastian bowed, smiling and replied to the silent command, "Yes, my Lord."

...

Downstairs, Merrely yipped away at the servants, playfully following them around at their heels, but never fully getting in the way. This morning the servants were going about fixing the muddy patio and porch and removing the branches and debris that were scattered about the yard.

Ciel came down the stairs, dressed in attire fit to be around others, following behind a maid with Sebastian at his side. All the servants looked up to Ciel and smiled, greeting him warmly.

"Breakfast is waiting in the dining area," the maid informed Ciel, "But I must apologize; Master Alexander is outside with his butler Sairi, fencing."

"I'll murder you! Hold steady!"

All the servants stopped their work to peer out the open doors to the front lawn that had already been cleared of debris to find Alexander chasing after Sairi with his arm in the air and swinging around his foil. Where as Sairi was elegantly moving away from his master, with the look of amusement on his face.

"I swear Sairi, if you don't stay put!"

"You'll what? Will you tell your servants and guests how wonderfully you beat me in fencing?"

"What?" Alexander froze and looked behind him to the mansion at all his spectators and blushed madly.

The servants froze, all trying very hard not to laugh.

"Get... Get back to work!" Alexander threw away his foil and walked off to the side of the house.

Snickering humorously to themselves, the servants again busied themselves with work.

"That seemed rather fun, no, Botchan?" Sebastian asked as they made their way over to the dining room.

"No, he seemed reckless."

Sebastian pulled out a chair for Ciel to sit in and started brewing his tea. "Would you like to show him how well your skills are?"

"Just stick to what I ordered you to do," Ciel picked up his fork and Sebastian nodded with a bow, "Yes, my Lord."

-

"Damn that Sairi, Damn him, forget him," Alexander sat in the stalls and cursed silently to himself, watching his workers tend to the horses.

Merrely came from the mansion, tail wagging and barking loudly as she made her way over to Alexander. Alexander ruffled Merrely's long fur and laughed.

"Stop it Merrely," he moved his face away from Merrily's tongue, "Not the face Merrey!"

"Excuse me."

Alexander looked up and Merrely stopped playing and sat. Standing over Alexander was Sebastian.

"I would like to receive my horse to go and observe the status of the river."

"Oh, well, my servants are bathing your two stallions, if you'd like you can borrow one of mine," Alexander stood and walked into the barn and ordered one of the near by servants to ready two stallions.

"Two?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes, I'd like to come along as well," Alexander steadied the horse in front of him and took the reins.

Sebastian did not argue as he was handed the reins of a brown mare. She whined in the care of Sebastian but did not buck.

Alexander pulled himself up off the ground and looked down to Sebastian, feeling tall. "I'll meet you outside."

After letting Sairi know he was gone, Alexander took lead in front of Sebastian and trotted up the dirt road to the bridge, three miles ahead. Sebastian kept good pace next to the boy and observed him with his red eyes.

"Hiya," Alexander snapped the reins, leaning forward, eyes squinted, wind blowing through his hair madly and then, as his stallion sped up and leaped over a fallen tree and landed back on the ground, the pin in Alexander's hair came loose and allowed his hair to fly out behind him.

Sebastian looked in surprise, he did not anticipate this. Alexander didn't either, for he stopped abruptly, almost falling over and grabbed his head. He looked at Sebastian as he slowed down, horrified, his creamy eyes struck with fear.

"No..."


	4. Sanities keeper

Sairi sat on the front steps of the mansion, having not been told to do any manual labor, he chose to wait for his master instead. Merrely lay at his feet, eyes closed, basking in the sun light. She was playing with the servants until a moment ago and had received a good spraying from one with the hose. Sairi then scowled her of course, seeing Alexander didn't like the smell of wet dog.

Merrely's head rose from where it rested on her front legs and barked. She sounded nervous, then looked at Sairi and growled.

"What is it Merrely? Sit back down and stop making so much noise," Sairi looked at the dog uninterested, but she pressed on. When Sairi continued to ignore her, she got up and ran off to the gates, ultimately making Sairi follow.

-

Sebastian smiled, his prediction was true. Alexander was in fact Lady Alexandria, Alexander's twin sister.

"Botchan was very worried about your actions. According to him, Alexander would have not been so easily irritated. He had his right to worry," Sebastian hopped off the back of his horse and went to Alexandria. "My Lady, where is your brother?" He stopped in front of the frozen girl, smiling.

Alexandria couldn't find the words to speak. She had not the slightest idea what to say that would help her out of the hole she just fell into.

Sebastian stretched out his arms, taking hold of Alexandria under her arms and hoisted her down.

"My Lady, where is your brother?" He knelt down to her level and made her look at him. "Where is Sir Alexander?"

Alexandria stared into Sebastian's eyes, her own creamy ones watery. "I can't..."

"Can't what?" Looking over Alexandria, Sebastian realized how frail she was and that, with enough coaxing, he could get the information he wanted out of her.

"I can't tell you..."

"Do you not trust me?" Sebastian moved closer to Alexandria's face and whispered in her ear, "Am I frightening?"

"My Lady!"

Sebastian stood and looked back up the road to find Sairi running behind Merrely with the look of distraught and anger on his face.

"Sairi..." Alexandria choked, "Sairi stop him... Don't let him see me anymore..." her hands shook and the tears whelmed in her eyes. "Don't let him see how dirty I am."

Sairi shoved Sebastian aside with a scowl and stooped down to Alexandria. "Are you okay?" He took off the long coat he had on and draped it over the girls head. "Are you hurt?"

"Take it away..." Alexandria stared at Sari with distant and clouded eyes, "Take away the pain..."

"My Lady?" Sairi held Alexandria's shoulders, as though that would keep her from falling apart. Then he remembered Sebastian who stood behind him. Standing between Sebastian and his master, Sairi glared at Sebastian, "What did you do to her?"

Sebastian turned his head to the side. "Why, I was just worried about your Lady Alexandria, nothing more."

Merrely growled and took stance behind Sebastian, fur standing on end.

"How do you know about Lady Alexandria?" Sairi felt the aura of death radiating over Sebastian.

"Why, my Botchan told me. He knows the twins from his childhood," Sebastian smied and looked around Sairi, "No?"

Alexandria jumped, startled and backed away.

Sairi flung out his arm, blocking Sebastian's view, "I think you should go back to the mansion now, I will check the bridge later, you should stay by your master's side."

Sebastian bowed, "I am happy for your hospitality." He walked to the mare Alexandria had allowed him to ride, mounted her, and left.

"My Lady," Sairi went to brush back her hair, but she flinched away.

"I can't take it anymore Sairi..."Alexandria's eyes were distant and stared into space, "Please, take me from here, take me somewhere I can't come back from..." she finally looked into Sairi's eyes, suddenly lit with excitement, "Take me to where brother is."

She looked so frail, so brittle, much like a withered rose; beautiful, but trampled upon.

"Let us go home, my Lady," Sairi rose her into his arms and mounted the horse.

Alexandria huddled to Sairi's chest and closed her eyes, "Is brother there?"

Sairi choked as he answered bitterly, "Yes... He's waiting."

-

All the servants could feel the change in the atmosphere when Sairi arrived back with Alexander. They could see, in how Sairi held the trembling boy, that something had gone desperately wrong. Alexander would never have anyone hold him, not even Sairi, his most trusted servant. So when they saw that Alexander was clinging tightly to Sairi's shirt with the coat wrapped around the boys head and shoulders, their suspicion went straight to the other butler.

Quietly, they whispered and worked. No beautiful or gracious man could continue to make these servant adore him if he had done their master wrong.

"Take the horses to their stables," Sairi ordered, strictly to two younger servants. His usually bright green eyes were clouded with mysterious anger. "Then please take Master Ciel and his butler to their rooms," he looked at Sebastian, "Tell your master that it would be best if you both stayed away from the first floors of the mansion until further notice. I will later bring you both information regarding the river, until then, I will have to ask you to please wait."

Sairi walked up the steps of the mansion and disappeared in the halls.

"Sebastian."

The butler looked up to the door to find Ciel leaning against the door pane with an uninterested expression. "What did you do Alexander?"

Sebastian smiled and walked up to him with a stride of a fox. "I have most interesting news for you, Botchan."

Ciel turned and walked back into the mansion, with Sebastian at his side, "I think that we shouldn't discuss my findings now though. I have a feeling that as of now, I am the most hated butler."

"That matters little to me Sebastian, now come, tell me."

"Yes," Sebastian stopped before Ciel and bowed, his red eyes gleaming with dark humor, "My Lord."

-

"Botchan! Stop that this instant!"

In the halls, the sound of breaking glass could be heard echoing like the scream of the dead. The glass crashed against the cold marble flooring of Alexandria's bathroom and sparkled over the carpet in her room.

"He saw Sairi, he saw me! He'll tell!" Alexandria fell to the ground and pounded her fists on the glass, hoping the pain would drive away her insanity.

"My Lady!" Sairi tried to get close to Alexandria, but her thrashing of the glass made it impossible.

"He'll tell Ciel, he'll know," Alexandria looked up, eyes narrow and far away, "He'll see how dirty I am... He'll know I killed Alexander!"

"No, he won't, because you didn't your brother!" Sairi tried to calm his voice, but he was so worried about his master, that he was unsure how to go about saving her. Her tantrums had never gone this far out of proportion before.

"Say his name Sairi, stop calling him my brother," Alexandria looked down at the glass, teary eyed and raven. She saw her bloodied face where she had tried to use her hands to disappear from Sairi's sight and how absolutely crazy she looked. But nothing could stop her now.

"But that is what he was my Lady, your brother and nothing more," Sairi's voice was calm, feeling like this was his chance.

"No..." Alexandria whispered, as if she were talking to herself, "He was more than that Sairi," she picked up a piece of glass and saw that the reflection that stared back at her was stained blood. "He was my twin... My lover, the only one who ever really really knew me." She tried to wipe away the blood from the mirror, but only smudged it thicker.

Sairi made a face not seen by Alexandria, then sighed, knowing what he wished was futile.

"My Lady Alexandria," stepping forward on the glass, Sairi knelt down before the girl and took her wrist in his hand. "Young Lord Alexander is dead."

Alexandria flinched at Sairi's harsh words and watched helplessly as he took the bloodied glass from her hand. He released her and stood to wash the glass off. Alexandria watched confused as he turned back to her with the clean glass.

"But me, I, Lady Alexandria, I am very much alive," he clenched the glass, making himself bleed, "You are alive," the blood fell in drops to the ground, mixing with hers, "We are alive, he, your brother, is resting humbly in peace."

Sairi stared at Alexandria, hoping that he was conveying his feelings correctly.

Alexandria began to stand.

"Do you understand what that means, my Lady?" Sairi rose his brow.

Shaking, Alexandria stepped towards Sairi and took his bleeding hand in both her small and trembling ones.

"I don't want to," she looked at the blood that flowed from Sairi just as thick as the tears in Alexandria's eyes. "I don't want to, so stop trying to make me see the obvious."

Alexandria took the piece of glass form Sairi and dropped it on the ground.

"Quit being so damn annoying," She looked up to him with clear brown eyes and furrowed brows. With her sanity back, Sairi looked down to her and smiled.


	5. How she sees it

Ciel sat on his bed, legs crossed, arms folded, waiting for Sebastian to speak.

"While I was riding with the young master of this house," he started, "I came to understand that young Lord Alexander is not at all Alexander-" Ciel's eyes darted to Sebastian, he did not expect this- "he, or I should say she is in fact young Lord Alexander's twin sister."

"Alexandria," Ciel finished Sebastian's sentence, "That's Alexandria?"

Sebastian nodded.

Ciel looked down as if remembering the past, then looked back up to Sebastian. "Then where is Alexander?"

Sebastian smiled, "I do not know Botchan."

"Unacceptable, find out."

"Is that an order?" Sebastian stepped towards Ciel and making the boy have to crane his neck up to look at him, "Is that an order my Lord?"

"Sebastian, no matter what it takes," Ciel stared coldly back in his butlers eyes, "Find out where Alexander is, that is a order."

Sebastian stepped away and knelt, "Yes my Lord."

Ciel stared down at Sebastian and started to talk, but was interrupted with a knock on his door.

"Ciel, it's Alexander."

Ciel stood and said, "Come in."

Sairi was seen first, his hair back in it's ponytail and hair neatly slicked back. His eyes were lowered, but was easily read as concerned and worried. Alexander came walking in after, bandages on his hands and forearms. He wore pants, so it was unknown to Ciel whether or not his legs were injured as well. Alexander stopped just before the door and looked at Ciel blankly.

Ciel felt aggravated, even standing before him now, he could not tell in the slightest way that the person standing in front of him was Alexander's twin sister. She, he thought, did a good job pretending to be him.

"I'm not sure what your butler told you," Alexander spoke steadily, "But without a doubt," he looked away, "It is true. Though I do hope that you can continue to keep this secret."

"Miss Alexandria," Ciel spoke softly, as if saying her name would allow him to see that the person standing before him was in fact female, then cocked his head to the side, "How long?"

Alexander flinched at his real name being spoke by anyone other than his butler.

"How long what, Count Ciel?"

"That you have been posing as Alexander?"

"Four years," Alexander sounded pained as he spoke of the truth.

"Why?"

"I can't say," Alexander finally looked back at Ciel, "That I can not bring myself to say."

Ciel made an advance towards Alexander, but Sairi blocked his way, uneasy.

"Sairi, back away, don't get in the way of the count."

Sairi backed off, concern marking his eyes.

Ciel stepped forward again and reached up behind Alexander's head and felt for the pins in his hair and pulled them out. Alexander's hair fell to his waist with a soft hush.

"Where is Alexander?" Ciel sounded rushed and anxious, as though the revealing of Alexandria's hair was the 'do' point of this all. "Tell me Alexandria!"

"I can't, I don't know how to," Alexandria looked away, "I don't know how to in the slightest way."

Ciel looked at Alexandria in dismay. "He's not with your Mother and Father, is he?"

Alexandria stared harshly in Ciel's eyes and responded coarsely, "As far as my parents are concerned, I am Alexander, so please do not bring up the topic when they return," she paused, "If, that is, you are here when they return."

Sairi stepped in at this moment, "I have checked the bridge and by early tomorrow morning, you can be heading back home."

"Sairi, can you please fix my hair?" Alexandria asked, "I don't want the servants thinking anything."

Sairi obeyed and fixed her hair. In less than a minute, standing back before Ciel was Alexander, not the frail and brittle girl from just a moment ago. It was then that Ciel realized that for the past four years, Alexandria was in fact Alexander, that as soon as her hair was placed back up, Alexandria was not here, only Alexander could be found in her place.

"As for lunch," Alexander sighed, "We'll be having a late one, so please wait."

He turned away, Sairi behind him. Sairi took one long cold glance behind him at Sebastian, then closed the door.

"I am indeed, without a single doubt, the most hated butler, Botchan," Sebastian smiled, red eyes hidden.

Ciel walked away from his butler to the large windows parallel to his bed and saw the garden. The garden had an assortment of flowers, many of which were white.

"Sebastian, what type of flowers are those? They seem to be all over the mansion."

"If I'm correct they are Easter lilies, correctly known as Lilium longiflorum, native to Japan and Ryukyu islands," Sebastian answered.

Ciel nodded and stared at the white lilies and thought quietly,__ those were Alexander's favorite.__

_...._

_ _I remember the first time mother and father made us wear different matching outfits. I wore a golden gown with white seems and frills. It was absolutely wonderful and I remember not being able to wait to see Alexander. Though when I did, I was completely surprised!_ _

_ _Alexander wore long seamed black pants, with a vanilla breasted shirt. Over that, he wore a dark blue tailed coat and from his pocket hung the chain of a golden watch. He probably wore that on purpose, knowing that I would be wearing gold._ _

_ _I must say, that after I saw him, I was quite taken back. He looked very astounding. In fact... As I looked at him, Alexander didn't seem like my identical twin anymore. Alexander looked older, smarter, handsomer. Where as I looked the same. Same as a young child would. _ _

_ _Apparently, though, Alexander thought differently. He had said, "My Lady Alexandria, you look wonderful today." I remember blushing after the compliment, though the moment didn't last long. Mother came swooping in and whisked me away, saying that she had someone she would like me to meet. I followed in dismay. The music had just started and I had wanted to dance with Alexander, but when I looked back and saw him talking to a beautiful Lady with long shining black hair, I thought maybe this was okay._ _

_ _Mother had wanted me to meet a Lord that lived in Paris. She thought I would be to his liking, not he would be to mine. He wasn't a bad looking man. I'm sure that when he was younger that he must have made a striking young gentleman, but now, at the age of 45, that wasn't the case. I, after all, was only 12 and a half. Though he was a gentleman, never reaching out to touch me in any way and never doing anything ludicrous, so when he asked to dance, I complied, though not with affection. Our dance never lasted long, Alexander came to my side maybe just a few minutes into the song. _ _

_ _Alexander is such a well etiquette man. When he came over, he smiled gently, his creamy brown eyes, the same as mine, shining, as he bowed and held out his hand to take me from the older Lord. The man complied willingly, it wasn't as if he had much of a choice, for everyone in the ball room was staring at him. _ _

_ _It is well known around London, that the children of the Morelis family were the best dancers you would ever see. I for one thought that was quite far stretched. Dancing with Alexander was just a lot of fun, because he led me, a girl who could not dance, well._ _

_ _Though, of course, there had to be some people who objected. Our mother was totally against my relationship with Alexander. The only thing she wished and hoped for every bachelor party she held for us two, is that I would get married off to some man and forever leave the mansion. I didn't know _ _ _ _this at the time, but Alexander knew this, and he protected me the whole while. _ _

_ _Father didn't mind at all, he said that our love was something genuine and hard to pull apart. After all, we've been together even before birth. Our connection wasn't something could be severed. Besides, I over heard Father talking to Mother, if we were to be together then the blood line would continue strong. Still, I was ignorant to the world of politics and statue, so I didn't understand those words. When I had told Alexander he just smiled and said to not worry._ _

_ _It was later after the party that I found my brother dead in my room._ _


	6. He died and I died

Ciel opened his eyes to find Sebastian hovering over him.

"What is it Sebastian?"

"The Lady's parents are home," He replied in a low tone.

Ciel sat up, rubbing his eyes. "And why are you telling me this?"

"Because, Lord Alexander is not with them."

"What?" Ciel looked at Sebastian surprised.

"Are you really that surprised Botchan?" Sebastian spoke with a mysterious voice, "You yourself questioned the Lady and saw how she acted, so you must not be so surprised."

Ciel looked away and thought for a moment. "She said that as far as her parents know, she is Alexander."

Sebastian waited for Ciel to speak.

"So," he looked up to his butler, "They think that Alexandria is gone."

Sebastian smiled, the candle he held in his have flickering over his features.

"The question now, is where is Alexander?"

-

Alexander strode down the stairs, his face void of emotion. He had dressed appropriately to greet his parents, despite the time being past midnight.

"Mother, Father, you have picked a terrible time to arrive home," Alexander spoke at the head of the stairs and stared at his parents as they stepped into the mansion, a servant hurrying behind them with their luggage.

Alexander's Mother looked over to him and smiled, her silver eyes gleaming, "Alex, you are up to see us?"

"I wouldn't be mother if Sairi hadn't woken me," he did not move from the front of the stairs.

His mother looked taken back and hurt. The father then stepped up and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Alexander, come here."

Alexander walked forward with a slow stride then stopped before his father and stared him in the eyes.

"Tell your mother that you are sorry."

"For what? I told her the truth, have you both told me not to lie?"

His father rose his hand and slapped him briskly across the face. Alexander was not shocked at this, but the pain was very much real. Soon his cheek was numb.

"Vertrad!" his mom stepped forward and cradled Alexander's face.

"I'm fine," Alexander stepped away from his mother's cold hands, "I hope you had a good trip and I welcome you home humbly."

"That's how it show be Penelope. With a little discipline he will stay in line."

Penelope looked at Vertrad submissively; she would never argue with her husband.

"I'm going back to my room. Will you be at the dining table in the morning?" Alexander asked, head low.

"We will be, we hope to see you there as well," Vertrad answered firmly.

"Yes father," Alexander bowed and left, feeling much like a servant.

-

Back within his room Alexander stood just there, leaning on his door and holding his swollen cheek. It hurt a lot, but he was not about to cry. He did not want to have to wake up in the morning with puffy eyes and a red face.

"Botchan."

Startled, Alexander looked to his bed and found Sairi sitting there and candle in his hand. He looked pained, but was not able to console his master like he wished.

"Why are you here Sairi?" Alexander walked over to his butler and stood before him, brows furrowed.

Sairi stood and released Alexander's hair.

"My Lady, you do not look very becoming with a bruised cheek." he was trying so hard not to hold her frail body and cradle her like the child she was.

"I'm fine Sairi," she swiped away his hand. "Shouldn't you be greeting your masters? I am no longer in your care since my parents are home."

Sairi smiled solemnly and pushed strays hairs away from Alexandria's face behind her ear. "I know..." he paused, just wanting to make this last longer, "I came to say that I really enjoy being your butler."

"Stop with the silliness, Sairi," Alexandria stepped around Sairi and sat on her bed, "You're making it sound like you won't be able to take care of me after this. There are always more business trips that my Mother and Father will leave me to attend to."

"Are you reassuring me, my Lady?" Sairi smiled heartily.

Alexandria looked up to Sairi and shook her head, "No, I'm not... I'm trying to reassure myself..."

Sairi leaned over and placed the candle down on the nightstand, then positioned himself before Alexandria, "Allow me to ready you for bed one last time, my Lady." He bowed, hand over heart.

Alexandria made up face in pain. The fact that she wouldn't be able to spend her time with Sairi for maybe the next two months hurt her terribly.

"You are so annoying Sairi."

…

Alexander walked into the dining hall and found his mother and father, along with Ciel eating. Sebastian stood next to Ciel and Sairi stood next to Vertrad, eyes down cast. He was not allowed to look anyone in the eye while Vertrad was around, despite being the head butler.

"Good Morning Mother, Father," Alexander looked at Ciel and acknowledged him, "Lord Ciel."

Vertrad looked up from his meal. "You are late Alexander."

Alexander sat down, pulling out his own chair. "I had trouble dressing myself."

"Well, that's not something you should say in front of guest," Vertrad replied harshly.

"Well, I'm sure he doesn't mind," Alexander looked at his breakfast, not feeling hungry, "After all, his butler dresses him."

"Boy, you had better not make our arrival home start on a bad note," Vertrad's voice was warning.

Ciel decided now was not the time to speak up.

"Well then, I guess I should just take my leave then, no?" Alexander stood, propping himself up on the table as he placed his napkin down, "I wouldn't want to ruin your wonderful return home." He straightened his back and stared harshly into his father eyes. "I finished all your paper work while you were gone and did all my lessons, so I believe that I am allowed today off."

Alexander turned and left into the parlor and out to the stables. As he was leaving the parlor, he realized that the white tulips he had the servants place around the house were gone. Instead in their place were red roses.

Red roses disgusted Alexander.

"I'm really sorry," Penelope spoke up, her apology directed to Ciel, "He doesn't get along well with Richard well."

"That's because he is spoiled," Vertrad grunted.

Ciel placed down his fork and looked at Vertrad, "While you were gone he was rather pleasant. He allowed me to stay here and takes good care of the mansion and its servants, you not give your son enough credit, I believe?"

Vertrad looked up, baffled that he was being outspoken by a boy, but was unable to defend himself, because this boy held the same status as he.

Ciel smiled to himself and stood, Sebastian pulling out the chair. "I must ask you a favor."

Vertrad looked up.

"I would like to stay a while longer. I know that the bridge is no longer flooded, but I just don't like the idea of leaving such a old friend behind in such a state," Ciel smiled.

Vertrad couldn't deny, so he complied, though not too willingly.

"Thank you. If you don't mind, I'd like to excuse myself to go and find him."

With that, Ciel left with Sebastian to the stables.

Vertradgrunted and watched them leave, then looked at Sairi. "What are you doing boy? Take up my plates."

"Yes, my Lord," Sairi took the plates and went to the kitchen.

Alexander sat on a pile of hay, holding Merrely in his arms. She whined, worried about his master. Though he would not cry, he still felt the searing pain of being alone without the tears. Being like this had finally allowed Alexander to feel the pain of being without Sairi.

Sairi had been right. He indeed was alive and by saying that, Alexander knew that Sairi had a mysterious message hidden in his words, what, the boy did not know.

"Lady Alexandria."

Alexander looked up and saw Ciel and Sebastian. "Don't you think it's time you told someone what's going on in that mind of yours?"

Alexander stood, "Why aren't you conversing with Mother and Father?"

"I'd rather talk with you."

Merrely growled slightly at Sebastian, who just stared at her in disgust.

"I'd rather that you just leave and not come back. What happens in this mansion pertains nobody except the ones that live here," Alexander said harshly.

"As soon as they came your personality change," Ciel said, paying no mind to what Alexander had said. "When you were younger you followed every order your parents gave you with a smile, what happened?"

Alexander looked at Ciel, trying hard to keep a strong face. Could he trust them? Could he entrust anyone other than Sairi this information?

"We can help," Ciel said, as though that would close the deal.

Alexander decided to try this. He was just so tired of going about life with all these secrets. They were literally killing him.

After a long thought, Alexander sighed and looked at Ciel with this most pain covering his creamy eyes, that it sparked emotion in Ciel's ice cold heart.

"My parents believe that I am indeed Alexander, while they believe Alexandria is buried in the family tomb."

Ciel's eyes widened.

"Four years ago, I killed my twin brother," Alexander looked down and finally, Ciel could see Alexandria, not Alexander, the strong faced boy, "I killed him and took his place."


	7. A true story?

Ciel looked at Alexandria in complete disbelief. How could she, the little girl who clung so tightly to her brother and never left his side have killed Alexander? Of all the possibilities he had thought of, this one was not anywhere close to even being considered.

Alexandria laughed dryly. "Why do you look at me so?" She looked to the hay covered ground and heard a horse neigh in the background as it was being carried off to be washed. "Is it that hard to believe that I took Alexander's life with these two hands?" Holding out her hands, Ciel saw how small they were. Alexandria was two years older than he was and even though she was a girl, her hands were much smaller than his. Had she always looked so frail?

"It seems rather impossible, you loved him so much you were willing to disobey your father and mother's wishes just to stay with him," Ciel answered. He believed this quite well, because when he had first met the two, his parents were alive then, wherever Alexander was, she was there too. Though she obviously did this out of her own free will, Alexander undoubtedly loved having her around.

Alexandria stiffed and answered harshly, "And it's because of how I acted why he's dead now, Ciel." She paused for effect and eyed Ciel's butler who was quietly observing her. "It's that very reason, Count Ciel, why you don't have your dear friend anymore... It's these hands... These hands that murdered my ever wonderful Alexander," she choked back tears and proceeded in pain, "It's these hands that took away the living, breathing, kind heart man that I can't even pretend to be."

Ciel wasn't sure how to continue. How was he supposed to question Alexander in such a state? There was no way he could continue without feeling like he was ripping this girl apart to the very bone with each question he asked.

"But yet," Alexandria took a deep breath and looked Ciel in the eye, "That nonsense doesn't answer what you want to know, is it?"

"No." The words came from Ciel in bitter tastes. He felt cruel and selfish, though why this suddenly mattered was beyond him.

Alexandria sat back down on the hay stack and turned her attention to Merrely as she spoke.

"Mother and Father wanted me to marry..."

***

"Alexander, Alexander! Where are you?"

A younger Alexandria wondered around the mansion, skirt hiked up around her thighs as she ran around the garden, eyes peeled, searching for an oddity among the white tulips. An oddity like a mess of brown hair.

"Mother said if we get these dresses messy that she will punish us!"

Alexandria wined, still searching with no luck.

"Na, Lady Alexandria, you are no fun in the game of hide and go seek. You aren't supposed to yell, 'Where are you,' the whole time."

From a nearby cherry tree fell a shadow of dark blue and landed in a thump.

"Alexander, who said we were playing hide and go seek?" Alexandria walked up to her twin in a huff. She was tired from dancing all night long and just wished to go have a bath and sleep.

"I did dear sister," Alexander swiped at Alexandria's nose with his finger and smiled. "Is it not fun to totally disobey our parents?"

"It isn't..." Alexandria sighed and turned away, heading for the mansion.

"Are you being a grumpy worm?" Alexander followed, hands in pockets and laughed.

"Stop treating me like a child Alex."

"But that's what you are."

"Then what does that make you?" Alexandria looked to her brother, who was the same height as her as long as she didn't wear any heels, which she wasn't now.

"A fine adult," Alexander straightened the collar on his ripped and muddied tailed jacket and smiled brightly.

"Right..." Alexandria had to laugh, because though he looked older in his new garb, he still acted like the old Alexander. That's what she liked about her brother. He never changed too much and left her behind.

Alexander placed a hand around Alexandria and pulled her close to him while they walked back to the mansion. Moments like these were the ones that she cherished most. The ones where there was no yelling mother or glaring father. Just the two of them. Not necessarily talking, but just being together, because she knew, she knew that without a doubt, their mother would find a way to send her away, despite Alexander's rebelling.

"No need to be sad," Alexander said, "I won't let anything bad ever happen to you. No matter what our parents throw our way, I'll just hit it back seven fold. So don't worry," he walked in front of Alexandria and held her shoulders so she would look at him, "All you need to do is stay with me, OKAY?"

Alexandria nodded, still slightly sad, but that emotion was quickly drifting away.

"Now come," Alexander rose his sister into his arms with one swift motion, "Let me think of a quick excuse to why I am filthy and you are slightly dirty."

The explanation was quite a humorous one. Alexander went into the mansion with his sister in his arms and a heroic smile on his face. All the maids came to him quickly, worried about the two and what the consequences to them will be, seeing they let the twins out of their sight. It was at this moment Alexander went off on a tangent about how he had saved Alexandria, his dear sister from a wild pack of boars. Apparently, he fought them off with a dead tree branch and loud yelling, after making me scramble up a near by tree. It sounded like utter rubbish, but because everyone trusted Alexander so much, several of the larger male servants went off with shotguns to find these wild boar. And to Alexander's and Alexandria's surprise, the servants came back with two dead boars.

All the twins could do was laugh and while Alexandria went to look at the boars, Alexander saw Penelope staring down from the balcony of the stairs with angry eyes directed at his twin.

"Hey," Alexander took hold of his sister's arm, "Don't you think it's time we go get ready for bed?"

Alexandria nodded, said good night to the servants and left with her brother's hand tightly gripping hers.

"You take a bath first, okay?" Alexander smiled at Alexandria, "I want to go get something from my room, so I'll just meet you in yours when your done, okay?"

Confused, but not wishing to push to bath with her brother, Alexandria complied.

In the warm bath, Alexandria dozed off, feeling relief on her tired feet. Having danced the most of the time that night, her feet had blistered and swollen. So being able to soak them in the water was nice.

It was have been an hour before Alexandria felt the coldness prickling at her skin; the water had started to grow cold. Quickly, she hopped out of the water and drained the tub. She rushed to put on her clothes, feeling bad that she had forgotten about her brother.

Hair still dripping, Alexandria rushed into her room with a sheepish smile on her face.

"I'm so sorry, Alex, I must have dozed off and-"

She stopped mid-sentance and dropped her towel. On her bed, Alexander lay on her bed, eyes closed. Most would have thought him to be sleeping, but Alexandria had slept enough times with her brother to know that this was not how he slept. It was too odd. His arms were out to his side, legs hanging off the bed, head turned in a uncomfortable manner... No, her brother wasn't sleeping.

"Alex?" Alexandria rushed over and jumped on the bed and held his face in her hands. "Alex? What's wrong Alex?" She strained her voice. She knew he wasn't going to answer her. It was the connection between twins that made her know. Made her realize that what she was doing was in vain. That precious connection between them had been severed. She couldn't feel her brother presence anymore, despite him being right there in front of her.

"Alex..." She fell on him and held his limp body in her arms. "Why aren't you moving Alex? Why aren't you answering me?"

"My Lady, are you there?"

Someone knocked on Alexandria's door, a maid.

"Is Alexander in there with you? Lady Penelope would like to talk to him."

Alexandria looked at the door in a rabid fashion. What was she supposed to do? She looked at her dead brother and made a split second desicion. Her parents didn't want to have a dead heir... If anything, they probably would hope that she would one day die.

"Lady Alexandria?"

The door to the room finally opened and revealed Alexander, tears falling from his eyes and his face reddened.

"My sister is dead."

***

"So they buried Alexander believing that it was actually me..." Alexandria looked down.

Ciel kept quiet for a moment then spoke up, "How does that make you his killer?"

The question set Alexandria off. She stood staring at him, eyes red. "Don't you get it? He knew that something was going to happen! He knew that our parents didn't want me around, so he protected me. The reason he died was because of my ignorance. If I hadn't been so attached to him then he'd still be alive!"

Ciel broke into Alexandria's ranting and asked, "What killed your brother, Alexandria?"

"Me and stress of having to protect me," she answered right away, "It's my fault because I didn't comprehend how sad he was, how much he was getting hurt... It's my fault."

Ciel looked at Sebastian and the butler nodded and left. As much as he didn't want to care, he just had a feeling that Alexander didn't die because of the reasons Alexandria was giving. Something was just wrong with this explanation.

"Alexandria, I need you to reenact that day for me," Ciel said slowly, "I need you to do everything exactly over again."


	8. Where is Alexander?

Alexander sat in his room, pondering on what Ciel had told him. He didn't exactly want to replay everything again. That day was a huge turning point in his life, to have actually lost himself and become someone he wasn't, while hiding the death of his brother. Sometimes, it was even a mental battle within himself to remember that in fact he was a girl and that he was posing as his very dead brother, whom everyone thought was actually a girl.

"Damn it..." Alexander stood and paced his room, pushing back his hair and straining himself to not break. Especially now that his parents were back and Sairi was no longer with him. He could not break now.

Taking a deep breath, Alexander walked out his room and into the hall. At first, he wasn't sure where to go, because Sairi was the one who would lead him through the halls.

"Maybe I should just busy myself for the rest of the day until Ciel is ready for me..." Alexander turned in the general direction of his office and hoped that he would remember which room to go into.

As Alexander made his way down the hall, he kept looking outside in sorrow. The garden was being filled with roses and the pretty Easter lilies were being ripped from the ground. It was obviously by his father's request why the servants were doing this, even though the lilies had only been planted for four days.

"How absolutely wasteful..."

He stopped at two large doors and went to pull them open just to be in turn hit in the face with them. Alexander leaned over, holding his face and groaning in pain.

"Botchan!"

Alexander suddenly forgot about the pain on his head and looked up, his hand still holding the throbbing area.

"Sairi..."

Sairi stood slightly bent over Alexander, cloth being held in one hand from cleaning windows. He looked absolutely horrified.

"Are you okay?" He dropped the rags and held Alexander, "I am so sorry, I didn't know you were coming!"

"I'm fine Sairi," Alexander stepped away from Sairi's arms and dropped his hands, revealing the red spot on his head. He just looked at the butler for a moment, not sure what to say, then asked, "Why are you in the office?" Though he already knew the answer, Alexander just wanted to talk with the butler.

"I was cleaning the windows upon your Father's request... Are you sure your okay?" Sairi asked, still quite worried, "Your forehead is swollen." He went about to tend to it, but Alexander stopped him.

"Sairi!" the boy rose his voice slightly, irritated, "Please," his tone fell, "please, just for little while, can you not worry about me and just talk? Just for little?"

Sairi was caught off guard then smiled. "Why of course, what is it you want to talk about?"

Alexander looked down and gripped his jacket. "I told Ciel about Alexander."

Sairi's eyes widened. "Why?"

"Because I had to... I needed to talk to someone, seeing," he paused, finding it hard to talk and said, "Seeing I don't have you to talk to anymore..."

"Botchan..." Sairi sighed and brought the small boy to his chest and held him tight, "I'm not going anywhere. If you want I'll do whatever I have to, to make sure that we will have time to talk."

Alexander liked the sound of that idea, but suddenly felt the unmistakable likeness of what Sairi said was a lot like what Alexander had said on the night of his death. He pushed him away and shook his head.

"Don't do that Sairi..." Alexander said without looking at him, "Now get back to work." he walked around the confused Sairi into the office and locked the door behind him.

Sairi stood there for a moment, then leaned over and picked up the dropped rags, sighing. He started off down the hall when he heard his named called over then intercoms that ran through the mansion and had several stopping points that looked much like phones.

"Sairi, come to my study and make me some tea."

It was Alexander's father, Richard. As much as the butler hated the boys father, he did everything that the man asked for because if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to see Alexander at all.

...

Ciel sat on the ledge that sat before the window in his guest room. He was growing impatient for Sebastian's arrival.

"Che, Sebastian is doing this on purpose," Ciel stood and walked out his room. He had remembered the way to Alexander's office and made his way over.

Before the door, Ciel wasn't even sure why he even left his room in the first place to come here. He should have just waited for Sebastian to come back with the information that he wanted to know. So how did he end up here?

Ciel sighed. The reason was obvious really. It was just so hard to take in the fact that Alexander was gone. For four years he lived on without the knowledge of his death and now the only one left behind was his unstable sister.

"Alexander." Ciel knocked on the office door and waited.

"Yes?" Alexander came to the door and looked at Ciel, quite in wonder of why the young count was standing before him.

"May I come in?"

Alexander moved away from the door.

"You don't have to be so formal Ciel... I, after all, am not Alexander..."

Ciel stepped in, still wondering why he had come this far. He just knew that any longer and he would do something that he would later regret, but so far he couldn't stop himself.

Alexander stepped out on the balcony, while Ciel took a seat near the balcony.

"I'm not ready to reenact that day just as yet... If that's why your here."

Ciel could hear the pain Alexander's voice and it hurt him, but he hid the pain.

"No, that's not why I'm here."

"Oh really?" Alexander looked over his shoulder to Ciel.

"Correct."

Alexander looked at Ciel, his creamy eyes in wonder. "Then why, if I may ask?"

"Because it is my turn to tell you something," Ciel stood to look at Alexander, "Lady Alexandria, I'm sorry if you don't like being called that but I just hate calling you Alexander."

Alexandria looked shocked.

"I can't call you Alexander, when your not him," Ciel didn't turn his eyes away from Alexandria, "Not when I cared so much for your brother."

Alexandria didn't know what to say, she was at a loss for words.

"I remember when I first met him... When my parents were still alive," Ciel smiled tenderly and sad, "I was lost in this ridiculously large mansion and he came and helped me back to the ball room to my parents. I know it sounds silly, but a lot of people didn't like me because I was a Pantomhive, but he didn't seem to care..."

Alexandria looked down and held on to the cuffs of her jacket. "I selfishly wish he was alive so I didn't have to deal with my parents..."

Ciel stepped towards Alexandria and held her hand, like a child would someone older than him. "I don't believe that it's your fault, if that counts for anything."

Alexandria looked at the boy before her and smiled, "Count Ciel, boy of the stone heart is acting tenderly."

Ciel didn't meet Alexandria's eyes this time and continued to look down, but he didn't let go of her hands. Alexandria then took hold of his hand and smiled. "Thank you Ciel."

She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, just as the doors to the office opened and her mother walked in with Sebastian behind her.

Alexandria looked horrified in the eyes of her mother. She postured herself quickly and the frail girl was gone, Alexander was all that remained_._

"Alexander?" Penelope stepped forward, hand over mouth, very surprised, "What were you doing with Count Ciel?"

"Mother," Alexander opened his arms to compromise, "Can you please leave, I need to talk to the Count and his Butler about something that doesn't pertain to you."

Penelope's eyes went wide. "What do you mean it doesn't pertain to me?" she paused, "And don't change the subject, what were you doing with the Count?"

Ciel kept his eyes averted from everyone's, not sure what to do anyway.

"Mother, just leave," Alexander was growing impatient.

"No, tell me, Alexander..." Penelope seemed desperate, "Stop hiding things from me."

Alexander breathed in sharply, "Mother, we are discussing Alexandria's death, _please leave_," he ended his sentence sharply.

Penelope seemed horrified, frozen in her spot. "Why would you talk about her? Are you trying to unrest her soul."

"Oh mother, you don't even understand," Alexander's tone deepened and his eyes darkened, "You can't even begin to fathom the unrest she has been feeling. From the day she died she has been tossing and turning-"

"NO!" Penelope had tears running down her eyes and shook her head madly, "Why are you doing this for?!" she screamed bloody murder then left, pale in the face.

Alexander sighed, relieved his mother left. Staggering, he fell into his chair, exhausted.

"But you never died," Ciel looked at him.

Alexander looked over to Ciel and nodded, "But Ciel, I did die. I died while I continued living as my brother."

...

Sebastian stood by Ciel where he sat before Alexander, who was staring out to the balcony. The servants were still working hard.

"What did you have your butler do Ciel?"

Ciel looked at Sebastian, giving him permission to speak.

"I went to dig up your brother's grave."

"What?" Alexandria stood, hands slammed to the desk, "No one gave you permission to dig up his body!"

Sebastian ignored Alexandria's ranting and continued with a smooth tone, "He wasn't there."

Ciel looked up to Sebastian, eyes wide.

Alexandria fell back in her chair, breath gone from her lungs. "What?"


	9. It is our secrets that bind us

For the next hour, Alexandria sat, staring at Sebastian as he thoroughly explained his discovery and where it lead him. Apparently, there was a scent that only Sebastian could pick up in the coffin and it was the scent of medicine, the type of medicine that could allow one to fake their own death. Why Alexander would want to fake his own death was beyond Alexandria, but she continued to listen, mortified. Another fact was that Alexander was in the coffin no longer than four hours. As soon as he was buried, he was dug up and after that, Sebastian knew nothing more of Alexander's whereabouts, but the investigation didn't stop there. He had went to Vertrad's study when he was absent and looked for records dating back to four years ago. What was found was a large gap between the first two weeks following Alexander's death. Nothing was recorded, nothing could be found, it was as though Vertrad had stopped all sales and went into submission. But the lack of information was too hard to turn a blind eye to. Everything should always be recorded and Alexandria doubted that her father hadn't used any money after Alexander's death.

There was something that was being hidden, a secret that Alexandria never caught onto.

"So then, what do we do next?" Her throat was dry.

"You reenact that night," Ciel spoke up, "That could give us some answers."

Alexandria rubbed her temples, the only thing that was running through her mind was, Alexander is alive... He's alive, he's not dead. He's breathing, smiling, talking, moving, but where?

She looked up, feeling nauseated. "Not today... I don't think I can do anything today..."

Ciel nodded, "Of course, but as soon as possible."

"Yes... Just come to my bedroom at dawn... No... Not Alexander's, it didn't happen there," Alexandria tightened her hands into fists, "It happened in my actual room. The room I hadn't been in since I saw him die..."

...

Alexandria sat in Alexander's room, hair let out and dressed in her night gown. Too much had happened today and she wasn't sure if she was ready to face tomorrow. If Alexander was truly alive, then why didn't he come to see her? Where did he go? Was he okay?

Grabbing a pillow, Alexandria fell back in the bed.

Was he smiling?

"Lord Alexander?" A servant knocked on the door.

Alexandria looked over, eyes wide. "Yes?"

"The master has called for you."

"Tell him I'm sleeping."

"Yes."

Alexandria listened to the footsteps of the servant until she couldn't hear them anymore, then relaxed with a sigh. Whatever her father wanted with Alexander would have to wait, because she didn't feel like pretending to be him anymore. At least not for now. She stood and went to her door to lock it. It was a habit now, it made her feel somewhat safe, safe from being found out by her parents.

Falling into her bed, Alexandria breathed in and hugged the pillow nearest to her. Every night, she would do this, hoping to catch the scent of her brother lingering somewhere in the spreads, but even that was gone. There was nothing that could bring him back around. Not a reminder of him. Pictures didn't work anymore. She needed to hear his voice, see him move... Her thoughts were cut off when someone again knocked on her door.

"What?!"

There was a long pause before the person answered.

"It's me Sairi."

Alexandria sat up in her bed, hair wildly sitting around her face.

_Sairi?_

She slid from her bed and walked across to her room and stood at the door, not sure if she should open it.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm done waiting on your father for the day."

"Didn't he send you to your quarters?"

"He did."

"But you didn't go?"

"No, I came to see you."

"Do you want to get in trouble?!" She banged on the door.

"It's worth the risk."

"Your an idiot," Alexandria said right away, "Your not supposed to be here, you'll get in a lot of trouble."

"As I said, it's worth the risk," Sairi sighed, "Now can you open the door?" he paused and added, "If I'm in there with you, I'll be less likely to be caught."

Alexandria only unlocked the door, unwilling to open it herself.

The door knob turned and the door opened slowly. It was as if Sairi didn't know whether or not he was allowed in. He walked in and was surprised to find Alexandria still standing by the door.

"You're already dressed," he closed the door behind him and looked at her.

"With great difficulty, I am indeed dressed," she walked passed Sairi and sat on her bed.

Sairi followed her, but did not sit. "How was your day?"

Alexandria looked up and admired Sairi's bright green eyes. "It was... eventful."

"Really, like how?"

She picked at her night gowns hemming. "I found out that Alexander isn't dead."

Sairi stiffened. "Really, how?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Sairi wanted to know, because this wasn't just something that she would say. It was more than just a touchy subject, it was so much more. She wasn't beginning to deny the day and starting to make herself believe he was alive... Was she?

"I'm not becoming a mental case Sairi," Alexandria answered her former butlers question, "I just know now that I've been lied to about something..."

Sairi knelt down and held the girls face in his hands. "Are you okay?"

Alexandria didn't answer, instead she held her hands against Sairi's, not allowing him to move. They were warm and calloused from working hard for her father, nothing at all like Alexander's. His were soft and gentle to the touch.

Sairi couldn't stop himself from pulling Alexandria into a hug and holding her tightly. He took her in his arms and held her like a child, wrapping one arm around the small of her back and holding the other behind her head, where his fingers became entangled in her hair.

"Lady Alexandria, my dear Lady, do not fall apart on me," Sairi spoke quietly.

Alexandria was surprised by Sairi's forcing her into a hug, but when she recognized the arms that were holding her tight were warm, she didn't move. When was the last time someone hugged her? Who was it even? Was it her brother?

_My dear Alexander..._

She held Sairi tightly and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to imagine her brother holding her, but the only face she could find in her mind was the caring face of Sairi and the emotion that was on his face made tears run down her face.

"Sairi?"

"Yes?"

"Do you..." She tightened her hands on his uniform and asked very quietly, "Do you love me?"

Sairi pulled Alexandria away from his and looked her in the eyes. "Why do you ask that?"

Alexandria looked away, blushing, "It's just a question... You don't have to answer it or anything."

Sairi stared at her, mystified, then chuckled. "I do." He answered strongly and knowingly. There was not even the slightest sound of uncertainty in his voice.

Alexandria didn't expect him to answer and wasn't even sure how to respond.

"What's wrong, you didn't expect me to answer?"

Alexandria couldn't find her voice, so she just shook her head.

"Well, I do and I have for quite a while," Sairi said in a matter-of-fact tone. "So I did whatever I had to to make sure that I could be your butler whenever your parents would leave the mansion."

Alexandria listened quietly to Sairi as he spoke, trying to form words in her mouth, but nothing would come.

Sairi stopped talking and kept his eyes on the quiet girl. "Do you believe me?"

She shook her head.

"Why?"

"Because I'm a spoiled brat apparently," she said suddenly.

Sairi laughed loudly, holding his stomach. "Yes, around your parents you act like one, but you aren't spoiled even in the slightest way, so stop thinking that."

Alexandria pouted.

"Here, allow me to prove to you that I do in fact love you."

"How?" she asked in a low whisper.

"Easy," Sairi reached out his hand and pulled her back to him, "I just pull you close like this," he then placed his hand under chin, "Make you look at me like this," his voice was low like a whisper, "Then," he planted his lips softly on hers and when he felt her lips on his, Sairi almost melted. This day had always seemed so out of reach.

Releasing her arm, Sairi pulled Alexandria closer and to his surprise she willingly came close, she even wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He wanted so much more. All he wanted was to smother her in kisses and hold her for the rest of the night, but when he felt the moistness of tears against his cheek, he knew he had gone too far.

Sairi broke away from the kiss and cupped Alexandria's face in his hands, "Whats wrong?"

Alexandria closed her eyes, not wanting to look at Sairi, her face was bright red and the tears streamed steadily down her face.

"Lady Alexandria, what's wrong?"

"This can't possibly last very long, can it?" she finally said, eyes still closed. "This is just going to end and then something bad is going to happen..."

"Now why do you say that?" Sairi was hurt by those words and choked as he spoke. Why would she say that after he finally got the chance to kiss her?

"Because," Alexandria opened her creamy eyes, "I had loved Alexander and he went away... So this can't possibly last long. It's a sin."

Sairi looked at the pitiful thing in his hands and was unable to find encouraging words, so instead he pulled her back in a hug.

"Stop being so depressing my Lady."

"I can't... Because everything just isn't as it seems," Alexandria sat limply in Sairi's lap, feeling stupid for even allowing him in, in the first place. "It is our secrets that will be the death of us..."

…

"Sebastian, I need you to find Alexander," Ciel stated, "Not today... but after Alexandria reenacts his death, I need to you find him."

Sebastian looked over to his master, who sat in the tub, wet and soapy.

"Is that an order, Botchan?"

Ciel looked over to his butler, eye patch gone from his face. "I order you, Sebastian, to find Alexander Morelis."

Sebastian held his hand over his heart, smiling. "Yes, my Lord."

Ciel's eye glowed purple as he stared harshly at Sebastian.


	10. The first suspect

DAY SIX

Alexandria woke up early in the morning, comfortably snug underneath her comforter. She didn't remember how she got there. As she tried to remember, she sat up, combing through her hair and eyed around the room.

"Sairi..."

The words left a bitter taste in her mouth as she remembered last night. Sairi had confessed his love for her and though she seemed willing at first, it was obvious, that in the end, Alexandria had selfishly rejected him. After she had done crying her eyes out in his arms, Sairi must have placed her back in bed and stayed there till she fell asleep.

"I'm such a fool..."

Alexandria looked at her hand, then clenched it. It was this hand that ruthlessly hung on to Sairi until she finally drifted into a restless slumber. So cruelly she held him there to watch her morn her possibly alive brother, whom she obviously loved more than her butler. The butler that was willing to be pushed around by a mean master just to spend a moments time with her. Of course the loving butler should seem more tempting than the brother that apparently sided with your parents and ran off to be away from you, but she couldn't help it. If there was even the slightest chance that Alexander was still alive, then Alexandria would risk being hurt emotionally to find out.

Outside the bedroom windows was the dark blue light of dawn. The trees silhouettes didn't move; immobile in the still waking world. Was it really another day? Yesterday was so full of different events that Alexandria didn't know if the day would move along, but apparently it was.

After all, times waits for no one.

Alexandria came off her bed and went to the wardrobe. Standing before it, she reached out her arm, trembling, then stopped. Reenacting meant wearing the same clothes from the event, the same golden dress that Alexander had called her beautiful in. The dress was kept hidden from everyone. Penelope had asked for it a multitude of times, but Alexandria kept it hidden. This dress, the one hidden in the wardrobe, was the only dress she had left. Everything else of her was either stored away or burned. All traces of her former self were erased, except for the family portrait in front of the grand stairs. That was the only picture left of her in the mansion.

She dragged her hand over the finally carved wood of the wardrobe and sighed as she stopped over the handle of the door. Courage needed to come fast, because whatever secret she was about to find out might leave her helpless.

"Here goes nothing..."

Alexandria pulled open the wardrobe and there in the middle of all of Alexander's clothes, was the beautiful gold gown that she thought she could never live up to. Slipping the dress from the hanger, she held it tightly and looked back up to the fine clothes that she had become accustomed to wearing over the past four years and also found the outfit Alexander had worn. She took that down too, and without dressing herself properly, she rushed through a secret passage in Alexander's room to hers.

Ciel and Sebastian stood before Alexandria's bedroom door and waited patiently.

"Are you ready, Botchan?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm ready to know where Alexander is," Ciel answered.

Sebastian smiled just as Alexandria opened the door, dressed in her night clothes.

"Lady Alexandria?" Ciel said, surprised and unsure if he should look.

"This is what I was wearing when I came out from the bathroom," Alexandria answered in a hurry, "Now come in."

She hurried the two in and locked the door behind her, feeling vulnerable with her hair down and without her brother's clothes on. Turning to look at her guests, she smiled awkwardly, "So, what do I need to do?"

Sebastian stepped forward, "First, we need to know where you found your brother and exactly how he looked when you found him."

Alexandria nodded, "Right... Well," she walked over to her bed and sat on it, feeling weird, "I found him here?"

"Sitting up?"

"No... He was laying down, hands and feet both in awkward positions like he fell backwards," Alexandria looked down, not exactly comfortable with the thought of laying in the same position her brother was in. After all, all she was wearing was a shift.

Sebastian seemed to understand and nodded, "Well, was there anything in your room that shouldn't have been?"

His voice was soothing Alexandria realized as she listened to him. It made her want to answer all his questions to the best of her ability. The way his red eyes looked at her with utmost attentiveness and false care drew her in.

"Sebastian," Ciel spoke up, annoyed, "Stop it, it's not like she isn't going to cooperate."

Sebastian smiled, "Sorry my Lord."

The feeling Sebastian was giving off went away, letting Alexandria regain her composure. What just happened?

"Anything out of place," Sebastian reminded her.

"Oh," Alexandria looked at Ciel as she thought. "I's been so long... I can't remember every little detail."

Sebastian walked to Alexandria gently brushed back her hair, "It's for you brother."

Ciel looked away. He didn't like it when Sebastian used tactics like these.

"Well..." Alexandria's heart started to race.

"Well?"

"He was laying weird," Alexandria couldn't move her eyes away from Sebastian's, it was like he was pulling the memories back to her frontal lobe, "As if he were waiting for me, but something made him fall asleep... But he seemed dead."

"What made him fall asleep, Lady Alexandria?"

Alexandria tightly shut her eyes, trying to remember. Her head was hurting for some reason. Why is it she couldn't see the past as clearly as she did in her dreams?

There he was, Alexander, laying on his back, as though he were pushed back and frozen. Why is it that that happened? The bed was still neatly spread, so it wasn't like he was forced to do anything. She looked at his lips, they were glossy, as if he drank something. Was that always there?

"He had drank something," Alexandria spoke quietly.

"Was there a cup in the room?"

She shook her head. "No, but..."

"But?"

Sebastian's voice pushed her to remember.

Alexandria forced her mind to picture the whole bedroom and looked to her night stand. There was a silver platter, one that the servants would use to bring the twins tea when they asked for it, but Alexandria hadn't remembered asking for tea that night. So why was it there?

"Someone brought tea," Alexandria opened her eyes, "Someone brought tea to my room while I was in the bath."

Sebastian stepped back from the girl and thought. "Someone poisoned him."

"No!" Alexandria stood up, "It wasn't for him.... It was for me and he drank some of it."

"But the cup wasn't there, right?" Ciel spoke up, hand under his chin.

Alexandria didn't know what he was getting at.

"That would mean the person had brought it for you brother, not you, because after he drank it," Ciel looked at Alexandria, "They took the cup so you wouldn't know. Who ever did this didn't want you dead, they wanterd your brother dead."

"No, everyone loved Alexander, no one would want him dead!" Alexandria couldn't fathom anyone in the mansion who would want her brother dead. "Everyone hated me and payed attention to him..."

Sebastian looked at Ciel as the boy shook his head. "Not everyone in the mansion hates you Lady Alexandria, there is most definitely someone here that cares for you."

"No," Alexandria said breathlessly, "You can't mean."

"It would make sense," Sebastian said, "He loves you, if that isn't obvious enough, but if your brother was around, then there would be no way you would ever give him the time of day."

"So," Ciel continued, "He has every motive in the world to want to get rid of Alexander."

Alexandria sat on her bed in disbelief, looking from the count to his butler, not knowing what to say.

"Sairi did this?"


	11. He didn't know there was poison in the tea cup

Alexandria marched down the hall, to her father's study. She barely managed to put up her hair, her hands were shaking so badly and while dressing, she had forgotten how to dress herself, but she did it. On her way to her father's office, she wasn't sure how to compose herself correctly. How to rid the expression of despair and confusion that would obviously give away who she really was. But she was just too angry, too scared to fix how she looked.

Not knocking and or even giving what she was doing a second thought, she burst into her father's study.

"Father!"

Vertrad looked up from the papers he was reading; Sairi was at his side.

"Alexander, what are you doing, bursting in here so loud," he put the papers down and looked at who he thought was his son.

"I need to borrow Sairi."

"What is this nonsense?" Vertrad stood up.

Sairi forced himself to not look up from his downcast eyes.

"I have no time to explain anything to the likes of you," Alexandria walked up to Sairi and grabbed his hand, "You'll have him back soon enough."

"Alexander!" Vertrad yelled, but Alexandria was gone with Sairi.

"Botchan, Botchan, what's the matter?" Sairi asked, confused.

Alexandria just kept walking forward, stifling her tears. The hand that she held in hers was becoming disgusting. She wanted to throw it away and scream.

Down the stairs and out the mansion, Alexandria didn't slow her pace. The servants looked up with wonder on their faces. They wanted to greet her warmly, seeing that they haven't seen Alexander in a while, but they realized this not to be the time.

"Botchan, what is the matter?" Sairi asked, still being dragged along.

She didn't answer, instead she made her way behind the mansion and started head strong down the cobble stoned path to the maze where she would be able to talk to Sairi without interruption.

Sairi looked around himself, having never been in the maze before, but wasn't able to take in the nicely cut hedges, because Alexandria was going too fast. They took several turns and finally ended up at pond. There was a single willow tree and a white bench; the paint was peeling off.

"Botchan?"

Alexandria turned around and slapped Sairi across the face. She wanted to do more. She wanted place her small hands around his throat and scream at him as loud as she could. But that slap was all she could afford.

"Botchan?" Sairi was very confused he just didn't know what to say.

"You've lied to me!" she yelled.

Sairi's eyes widened, not knowing what was going on. Was this about last night?

"All this time, you've been lying to me!" Alexandria couldn't even meet his eyes, she was just so disgusted. "You deceived me in the worst way possible and made me believe you really cared for me! Was it father's idea? My Mothers?" she paused, "Who told you to do it?" Finally she looked up, "Or did you do it of your own free will?"

Sairi was blown away, what was she talking about. "Lady Alexandria, I don't know what your talking about, but I do love-"

"No!" Alexandria screamed and stepped away from Sairi, "Don't you dear say that!" she stared at him with the most disgusted expression she could make, "Your not allowed to say that when you were the one who killed my brother!"

Sairi froze. "What?" he blinked, "You think I killed Alexander?"

"I know you did!" Alexandria said, still horrified, "Ciel and his butler helped me figure it out."

Sairi shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe-"

"You brought the tea," Alexandria cut him off, "You may have not been the head butler at the time, but I know that my Father enjoyed picking on you to do everything for him, so he assigned you to do everything we asked for. And seeing we were just kids, we asked for a lot, so you were always bringing things for us... I didn't realize you then, because I only had eyes for my brother. Then one day, you brought us tea after the party, even though we didn't ask for it and gave it to my brother...." she paused and choked, "Then you watched my brother die and took the cup away from him, so I wouldn't find out that you did it."

Sairi breathed in, amazed. "How did you know that?"

Alexandria didn't want to hear Sairi say that. She wanted to hear him defend himself with the look sincerity, but he wasn't doing that.

"Are you saying that you killed him then, Sairi?"

Sairi looked away, not answering the question.

Alexandria covered her mouth and the tears started falling instantly, she didn't want this.

"I can't believe you..." she said quietly.

"You don't understand," Sairi started, still looking away. "I had to..."

"Why? For love? Because you _loved_ me, you got rid of him?" Alexandria asked.

Sairi shook his head. "I didn't really start gaining feelings for you after he was gone..."

"So what then? You just killed him because you could?" Alexandria was trembling. She was scared, she was afraid of the man that had taken care of her for four years. This man was a killer, she couldn't trust him.

"No," Sairi stepped forward, "I didn't-"

"No!" Alexandria backed away, then turned and ran to the other side of the pond to the other entrance to the maze.

"I didn't know!" Sairi called after her. He watched her leave, knowing that following was futile, she would never listen to him now. After she was out of his sight, Sairi found that he too was trembling. Trembling with uncontrollable anger. "This isn't my fault... I didn't know there was poison in the tea cup!"

…

Ciel sat in his room, watching the sun slowly slide higher in the sky. It was turning evening and he could feel the tension already. Soon after Alexandria had thought it over and over again she finally decided that the best way to find out the truth about Sairi was just to ask him herself. He didn't stop her. After all, he had his own plans to attend to.

Outside the house, Ciel heard a loud ruckus. There were people shouting curses at someone. Ciel walked to the window and looked outside. He had a clear view of the stables and all the commotion.

"Sebastian..."

On the back of one of the silver horses that had been pulling his carriage seven days ago, Sebastian was hunkered over and riding at full speed. The butler didn't look back as he guided the horse up a pile of stones that were being readied to lay out for a stone garden and flew over the stone fence that surrounded the mansion.


	12. Please wait till the morning

Vertrad sat at the dining table with his wife to his right and Sairi behind him. Ciel sat further away on the parallel side to Penelope. Everyone ate quietly, but after a while, Vertrad got annoyed.

"Where is Alexander, Sairi?"

"He's in his room," Sairi answered monotone.

"Why is that?" Vertrad's voice went on octave down, his anger raising.

"I do not know, my Lord," Sairi answered, but he truly did know. Alexandria was just too distraught to even want to sit in the same room as him.

"Well damn it Sairi," Vertrad stood, "It is your job to take care of him!"

Ciel set down his glass and looked over to Vertrad.

"Sir Vertrad," Ciel started, "Isn't Sairi only supposed to take care of Alexander when you are away?"

Vertrad looked at Ciel and was once again unable to talk back to the other Lord, the child being to witty for him.

"You are correct, I am sorry Count Ciel," RicharVertrad bowed but did not sit back down. "Still, I think I should go look for him." He left the dining room in a hurry, not waiting for Ciel's response.

"Um, Count Ciel," Penelope spoke up, trying to get rid of the heavy atmosphere, "Where is your butler?"

"He's attending to some business for me while I stay here," Ciel answered, looking gently back at the woman. She resembled the twins more than the father. Though because of her silver eyes, people would say other wise. But Ciel saw something different in her that made her look like the twins.

Pain.

All three wore it well. Alexander had it written on his face when Ciel first met him, Alexandria had it now, and it seems that Penelope picked up the look as well. somewhere down the line.

"Oh," Penelope replied, not sure what to say next. She really wanted to ask about what she saw earlier, but was unsure how to bring it up.

"My Lady," Ciel smiled, "Is what you saw before bothering you so much that you can't look me in the eye?"

Penelope flinched, almost dropping her fork and smiled sheepishly, staring at her food. "What are you talking about Count?"

"You need not to worry about what you saw earlier," Ciel looked back to his plate, smiling gently and mysteriously.

Penelope looked up for a brief second them her eyes went down cast once more. She didn't understand.

"Everything that's been in fine print for the last four years will finally be held up high for all to see," he looked up to find Penelope look at him, "So that everyone can know the truth."

Penelope couldn't handle anymore of Ciel's talking, so she stood and rushed out of the room.

Sairi looked up at this point in time and stared at Ciel for the longest time.

"What is it?" Ciel leaned over on his hand.

"How did you find out the information you did?" Sairi asked, "For the past four years I've been searching and searching, trying to find out something on Alexander's death you just show up one stormy day and find out everything in less than a week."

"Is that all you have to say? Don't you want to defend yourself regarding Alexander's death?"

"I don't need to defend myself against that, Count Ciel," Sairi said, irritated that he was being accused again. "I didn't kill Alexander, nor did I attempt to. So I would like it very much if you'd stop telling Alexandria such nonsense."'

Ciel nodded, not at all surprised. "Because you love her right?"

Sairi didn't answer instead he started to clear the table.

"Do you know anything at all pertaining to his death?"

"I don't know the type of information you know," Sairi answered solemnly.

"Well, you still might know something, anything to help?"

Sairi handed off the plates to a servant from the kitchen and looked at Ciel. "All I know is that when Alexander was still alive, Vertrad didn't mind the twins loving each other and always being together. In reality, he spoiled the two quite a lot. As for Penelope, she used to be a bossy thing that annoyed everyone in the house and she despised Alexandria, often remarking that she would stop Alexander from marrying and getting more money for the family."

"But that isn't the case now?"

Sairi shook his head. "After the supposed death of Alexandria, the two just switched personalities."

Ciel looked thought for a moment then said, "And you said that you didn't kill Alexander, right?"

Sairi nodded.

"Well then, isn't this just annoying?" Ciel sighed and tapped his finger on the table. "Sebastian had better hurry up..."

...

"Alexander, open this door!"

Alexandria sat at her windowsill, still dressed as Alexander. She didn't make a move to the door. Vertrad was being annoying and the last person she wanted to see, second to Sairi, was her Father.

"Boy, you had better stop acting this way," Vertrad banged on the locked door, "Get your ass out here!"

Alexandria covered her ears, trying to block out her father's voice, but it didn't work. Her father booming voice pounded at her brain forcing her to here all his words.

"You ungrateful bastard, you will never be able to live up to the Morelis name if you don't sharpen up!"

"But I'm not Alexander," she said in a small voice.

"Get you ass out here! Our guests and your mother are waiting at the dining table!"

_Stop yelling, oh please, just go away!_

The yelling stopped, but Alexandria knew her father was still there.

"Damn child, when are you going to grow up?"

With that, Vertrad left.

_I have grown up you ignorant Father. I grew up and became your damn heir..._

Vertrad walked into the parlor and found Ciel sitting on the porch with Merrely. He walked up to him and stood next to him. "Count Ciel."

Ciel looked up. "Yes Lord Vertrad?"

"Tomorrow my family and I won't be able to entertain you," Vertrad paused, "Because tomorrow is the day my daughter passed away, so I must apologize in advance.

Ciel nodded, "I understand. I am just grateful for your hospitality so far."

"You are always welcome Count Ciel," with that Vertrad left.

Ciel petted Merrely and stood. It was time to carry out his part of his plan.

-

"Lady Alexandria, it's me Ciel, can I come in?"

Alexandria appeared at the door, looking as though she had been crying for the whole day. She looked much like a desperate child in need of a parent figure.

"Sorry, Ciel," she laughed dryly, "I don't really want to see anyone right now..."

Ciel wasn't sure what to say, but pushed forward verbally. "I think I need to talk to you."

"There's nothing left to talk about Ciel. You and your butler can leave now. You helped me find out the truth; Sairi took my brother away... There's nothing left to discuss," Alexandria started to close the door, but Ciel placed his cane in the way, "We really need to talk," he said.

_

Alexandria sat on her bed, looking down. She was distraught and saddened. Sairi had been a great shining light to her after her brother's supposed death. He had been there for her and did everything in his might to make her feel better, so why, why is it that he had to be the one?

"You are probably questioning everything that's happened, aren't you?" Ciel said. He stood next to the window, looking out over the front lawn. Night was falling over the mansion.

"I am..."

"There is nothing I can do to reassure you," Ciel continued, "I know this, but I do have some advice."

Alexandria looked up and turned to look at the Count.

"Don't do anything stupid and wait till the morning."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, don't do anything stupid as in taking your own life, just wait till the morning and if your not happy by then," Ciel looked at Alexandria and impulsively tapped his finger on his cane as he continued talking, "Do what you wish with your life."

Alexandria stared in confusion. How had Ciel even known what she was planning to do?

"I know that Alexander was important to you, but you can't do anything rash, okay?" Ciel didn't look away, "We all miss him, but you know, I'm sure, that Alexander wouldn't like it very much if you hurt yourself.... Understand?"

Alexandria nodded, tears falling down her face once more. "I understand." She sniffled, then his her face in her hands, "I understand, Ciel."

Ciel looked back out over the lawn and sighed. Why did it feel like rain was still pounding on the rooftop of this house, though the rain had seized to return after six days ago?


	13. At the grave

Alexandria sat in her room, which was actually her brother's room, and looked at her hands. She wasn't dressed, her hair was still out, and she had no intention of dressing up to be her brother today. Instead, she would be herself. Really, Alexandria didn't want to wear a dress, it would just feel too weird, after so long cross dressing. It would be uncomfortable and awkward, but she was willing to follow what Ciel had told her before he left her last night.

He had said: "Don't you think that it would be just splendid to dress as yourself on the day of your death," Ciel had smiled mysteriously then and ended his sentence before he left with, "And sit on your grave for your parents to see?"

Alexandria had been very confused at his statement, but she thought it might be a good idea. She would dress as herself, become her own ghost and haunt her parents at her grave. She would yell at her father and her mother, then leave them distraught and go back to being Alexander. Though he might be alive, there would be no way he would come back around after four years. It was depressing, but Ciel gave her hope, so she was going to do it, even if the happiness was just temporary.

Alexandria left through a secret passageway in her brother's room to the garden in the back. There were no servants around. Vertrad didn't want to see 'dirty faces' on the day his 'dear daughter' had passed away. Walking through the garden Alexandria looked upon the red rose bushes with distaste. Roses were for families that had everything together, families that were happy and merry, or, roses could also represent death; their rose red petal just as bright as blood. The flowers represented the day well, she thought, so Alexandria picked one and took it with her.

The family graveyard came into sight. It was a dreary looking place with it's tall gravestones, each heading for different family members that had thought it would be wonderful to be buried in the beautiful and serene Morelis main graveyard.

There was a pond dead center of the yard, with lily pads and pink flowers. Tall willow trees were everywhere and right under the largest one, with the longest vines, was the large tomb the represented Alexandria's burial. Walking up to it, Alexandria felt an emptiness to it. There was no body in the stone. Sebastian had taken out the coffin and found nothing in it. She ran her hand over the cold marble, then laid the red rose at the bottom of the grave. Just to the right was a white bench, so she went to it and sat.

Alexandria smoothed out the gold dress she wore and touched the white bow in her hair. It was just so weird to be in these clothes, but for once, she felt like herself, sort of. Looking up, Alexandria squinted at the brightness of the sky. It was a wonderful day... had the day she apparently died been the peaceful?

Just about to doze off, Alexandria finally heard the footsteps of her mother and father. Her parents walked in silence, both dressed in black formal wear. They walked with a gap between them. Most parents would have held hands and walked close to each other for the stressful moment, but not Alexandria's.

_They never were close..._ Alexandria thought. She squinted her eyes and suddenly, she felt like a young girl, waiting for her parents to come and find her to take her home. Alexandria quickly shook the feeling, that thought was just a dream - Her parents were in eye sight – Because her parents never loved her enough to do such things.

_Can they see me?_

Vertrad stopped first, horror in his brown eyes. His mouth fell after, hands frozen in place as his eyes locked with Alexandria's. Penelope reacted next. She was similar to Vertrad, but instead of horror crossing her face, she looked like she was slapped in the face

"Your supposed to be dead," Eleanor said breathlessly.

Alexandria stood, making her parents flinch. She smoothed out her dress, then spoke smoothly. "And that I am, Mother." She tried to look at Penelope with the same eyes she looked at her when she posed as Alexander. She wanted Penelope to understand first. Alexandria wanted Penelope to feel the pain first, to feel the realization that all this time, Penelope hadn't been talking to her son, but her daughter.

It worked. Penelope clasped her hands over her mouth, blood drained from her wrinkled face.

"Oh my God."

"See, I am quite dead," Alexandria made no move forward. "I died four years ago when you buried me."

Vertrad shook his head, still looking frightful. "I don't understand." His voice shook.

Alexandria couldn't hold back anymore, all she wanted to do was scream. Scream at them for making her do this, scream at them for making her die and become someone she wasn't, but she couldn't. Finally, Alexandria was able to get everything off her shoulder's and instead of doing so, she cried. She couldn't hold back the tears or keep her face composed like she had for the past years. It was impossible. All the anger and pain turned into tears, the dread, the hurt, the confused life style, everything It compiled into one and she just cried. Tear after tear was cried and they all fell to the ground with the same meaning. It was like they cried for Alexander as much as her heart beat to see him again.

"Alexander..." she finally said, still bawling. "Alexander... You took him away... he's gone," her heart started to pain, making her grab her chest, this was too much for her to handle. "He's gone because of your hatred for me...."

Vertrad and Penelope looked at each other, finally starting to grasp everything that was going on, even though Alexandria didn't explain anything.

"You should have just," but Alexandria couldn't say anymore, the pain in her chest too much for her frail body to handle. She fell to her knees, holding herself and cried in the grass and her parents didn't advance to her, they just stared in disbelief.

Though the pain was excruciating, nothing could make her cry any harder than the emotional pain that Alexandria was feeling.

"That's enough."

Alexandria didn't hear the voice, but her parents did. They turned to see Ciel leaning against Alexandria's grave, cane in hand. He stared at Vertrad and Penelope, disgusted.

"If your not going to help her, then leave," his voice was harsh, "It's disgusting to see you standing there, looking at your daughter as if she did something completely unforgivable, when you both have committed a very unforgivable sin."

"What are you-?!" Vertrad started to yell, but was cut off when Ciel rose his cane rudely and said in return, "Let's not delay this any longer."

"What?" Vertrad and Penelope were becoming more and more confused.

"Sebastian, your late," Ciel set his cane back on the ground and sighed.

"Sorry young master," Sebastian stepped from behind the gravestone and bowed, "But the young Lord proved hard to find in the past two nights."

Vertrad and Penelope were completely lost and just stared on like sitting ducks.

Ciel stared at Alexandria, wishing to help her but didn't move to her, instead, he watched the silhouette of a person coming up to her side.

"Lady Alexandria, this is a very unladylike position."

Alexandria suddenly froze, tears still falling from her face. The voice that spoke to her was definitely not the voice of her parents. It was calmer and soothing and very familiar. Slowly, she started to sit up into a sitting position, the pain in her chest still there. The first person she saw was Ciel, who stared at her with silent concern. His butler was beside him, but he didn't seem to have said anything. So where did the voice come from?

"Lady Alexandria, please, really, it can not be comfortable on the ground."

"Ale-?"

From her side, stepped a long leg dressed in dirty brown pants, then that person bent down to be on eye level with Alexandria. "It's not comfortable," the boy paused and smiled, his creamy brown eyes gleaming, "Is it?" The boy before her looked slightly pale and thin, his hair was down to his shoulders in wavy brown locks. His shirt was old and dirty, but even though these appearances were how lower classed people looked, Alexandria was not fooled.

Alexandria started to shake her head, not sure what else to do. The tears started to stream heavier, but for a different reason.

"Are you really here?" she asked, not even reaching out to him, afraid she might wake up from a dream.

The boy didn't stop smiling and nodded, "Why, Lady Alexandria, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because," she sniffled, "Because in my dreams you're never real."

The boy reached out his hand and touched Alexandria's cheek, his smile softening, "Does this feel real?"

"Oh my God," Alexandria touched her hand against his and said, "It's warm."

Smiling tenderly, Alexander brought Alexandria into a hug. He breathed in deeply, then sighed. "After so long, I never thought I'd be able to do this again."

Vertrad and Penelope watched, not sure what to think. Had they really buried Alexander instead of Alexandria? This whole time, the child they were missing was their son and not their daughter?

"How?" Vertrad asked.

Alexander turned to look at his father, but didn't say anything. He just made sure that his grip on Alexandria was unbreakable.

"Well," Ciel tapped his finger on his cane, "I can't explain anything to you in great detail, seeing I don't know _all_ the details," he paused, "But there is one person here who knows everything, or at least she _thought_ she knew everything."

"She?" Vertrad looked at Alexandria, but Alexander shook his head and replied, "Don't you dear think that my sister was the one who did this. After all, she was the main victim, not me. I was just a technicality." He glanced from his father to his mother. "Right, Penelope?"

Eleanor looked shocked, her eyes becoming wide, pupils dilated.

Alexander smoothed back his sister's hair and continued talking. "I still remember, I was waiting for Alexandria to come out from taking a bath..." he turned his head to the side, looking at his sister, "She was taking her time, which was fine, seeing we had danced for most of the time. I was patient and while I was waiting, I saw Sairi's feet under the door, and beside him, I saw Penelope's. Sairi was coming to check up on us both, orders from you I am supposing," Alexander nodded to Vertrad, "But just as Sairi was to come in, Penelope stopped him and handed him a cup of tea."

"A cup of tea, is this what this is about?" Penelope asked, still not grasping what his son was saying.

"That cup of tea was poisoned," Alexander continued, eyes closed to keep himself from having to look at his father in disgust, "But what Penelope didn't know was that I had been training myself against many poisons since I was young, so I was practically immune to the poison. There was a affect though which resulted me going into a hibernated like sleep."

Penelope then started to shake her head, then said in a small voice, "It wasn't meant for you..."

Alexandria finally looked up, face red and blotchy and stared at her mother, but didn't speak, listening to Alexander's words.

"So, because Alexandria had the idea in her head that no one wanted her and that my supposed death was an accident, she switched places with me, knowing that she wouldn't be accepted by her own parents if the heir of the family was dead. And for the past four years, she struggled with a abusive father and a blind mother who couldn't see that she was obviously not their son."

Penelope couldn't say anything. There was nothing too say. She was found out and in the process, she ended up feeling absolutely horrible.

"But," Alexandria spoke up, "Why were you never in the coffin?"

Alexander shrug his shoulder's and stood, helping up his sister. "I don't know and I don't care. Whether it was done by Penelope or someone else, I thank them. It's because of that why I am still alive now. Alexandria nodded. Now that she thought about it, she didn't want to know either.

"Alex," Ciel started, "What would you like me to do with your mother? I have the authority to take her away."

Alexander looked from his horrified mother to Ciel. "I don't know what your talking about Count Ciel," he shook his head, "I see no mother here."

Penelope looked at Alexander, eyes widened. "Alexander, what are you saying? Am I not your mother?" she stepped to him, holding out shaking hands. "All these years, I have-"

"Have what?" Alexander stepped away, Alexandria in his arms, "You killed me and your daughter that day four years ago. I don't want to hear a word from you; take her away Ciel."

Ciel nodded to Sebastian and he restrained Penelope.

"What, release my wife, get your hands off her!" Vertrad went to strike Sebastian, but the butler easily grabbed hold of the larger mans hand and pushed him to the ground.

"As for you father, I don't want to see your face either," Alexander's voice was cold, "You struck my sister many times, I will not accept that. So from this day hence forth, I shall take head of the mansion and you may step down and take leave with your _wife_."

Vertrad looked up to Alexander from the ground, feeling belittled. There was nothing left for him to say or do, he was in the wrong, and he wasn't about to let his anger let him lose whatever was left of his pride. So he stood, dusted off his clothes and nodded and replied stiffly, "Yes, Lord Morelis."

Alexandria had no pity for her parents, but neither did she like how Alexander was treating them, even if he did it on her account, but she couldn't bring herself to stop him. There was something within her that said let them go, let them be, they deserve it. They hated you for all these years and still have no concern for you even though they now know the truth. They didn't feel the least bit saddened that she had died along with her brother and became someone else. So she watched them be taken away by Sebastian in silence and held tightly to her brother, subconsciously frightened that he may still disappear.


	14. Butler fired

Vertrad and Penelope were soon whisked away by one of the queen's henchmen and Penelope begged the whole time for forgiveness, but Alexander had no ears for her. He had turned his back to the carriage that took them away and walked briskly inside the house to regard the servants.

Many of the servants were very surprised, but none were hostile when they found out the news. They all decided to stay and work under the real Alexander, happy they would no longer have to deal with such a crude master. Alexander thanked them a million times and gave everyone big smiles and greetings. Merrely was most definitely not forgotten. She had always known Alexandria wasn not Alexander, so she had most definitely missed her real master.

Alexandria watched on from the stair case balcony, happy and sad at the same time. Would no one look upon her the same anymore? She leaned over the railing looking at everyone rejoice and talk excited with Alexander. Where would she fit into the house hold? Suddenly, she thought of Sairi and how terribly she had treated him. Looking around the parlor, Alexandria realized that Sairi wasn't among the talkative servants, instead, he was next to the dining hall doors, looking on quietly. Should she go talk to him? It would be horrible not to. She needed to tell him sorry for accusing him incorrectly, but didn't know how to approach him.

"Why the long face Lady Alexandria?"

Alexandria leaned off the railing of the balcony and found her brother looking kindly upon her. She smiled back tenderly. Even though he looked like a rugged mess, she couldn't get enough of his smile.

"Nothing is wrong," she stepped to him and hugged him tightly, "I am fine."

Alexander hugged her back, wishing to not let go.

Sairi looked up to the balcony and saw the twins, then turned away, disgusted and heart broken. He needed to look after dinner and make sure the servants didn't think that just because they had a new master that they could forget their jobs. That was the job of being head butler; there was no time for love.

Alexander saw him leave and his gaze softened.

"My dear lady Alexandria, I have missed you so."

"And I you." Alexandria smiled and snuggled closer to him, smiling brightly.

-

Ciel awoke the next morning by himself and looked around, lost for a moment, then remembered that he was still at the Morelis mansion. Then the events of yesterday came playing back through his mind and he smiled slightly. His job was done, he could finally leave this place and not have to worry about the people living under this roof. How silly it was of him to burden himself with the task of other peoples lives and businesses that he didn't care for.

Ciel leaned into his hands and sighed. This job of being the queen's _'lapdog'_ was a tiring task. Sometimes he wasn't sure how he got through each and everyday.

"Botchan, your up already?"

Sebastian stepped into the room, brows furrowed. "Are you okay?" He walked over and touched that boy's head.

Ciel touched Sebastian's hand with both of his and leaned into the butler's palm, eyes closed.

Then again, he had this butler to help him, so such questions should not appear into his mind.

"Botchan?"

"I'm not ready to leave the room," Ciel spoke without opening his eyes, "So just sit down and wait till I am."

Sebastian smiled and sat next to his master. "As you wish, my Lord."

...

"Lady Alexandria?"

Alexandria opened her eyes and was met with the rising sun from her brother's window. She wasn't sure who called her name at first, but then she remembered yesterday. Sitting up quickly, she found her brother at the edge of the bed, standing over her. He was dressed and staring at her with a gentle expression. Alexander's hair was neatly cut and he didn't look as sick as he did yesterday, he did a good job of looking the part of head of the mansion.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," he said in a laughing tone.

"Well, I was tired," she smiled, "And I was also under the impression that you were still in bed with me."

Alexander sighed, "I had some business to attend to."

"Really?" Alexandria went to the edge of the bed to sit in front of her brother, "Like what?"

Alexander turned away and scratched his head. He walked towards the window and opened the curtains. Outside, the servants were happily ripping the rose bushes from the ground.

"I went looking for the head butler Sairi."

Alexander had his sister's full attention now.

"Why?"

"I needed to fire him."

Alexandria stood from the bed, her silk white night gown unwrinkled. "Why?!"

Alexander turned around to look at his sister. "Isn't a nuisance to have him as a butler at this house?"

Alexandria couldn't believe her ears. "Is he already gone?"

"No, he's out in the parlor with his things packed though. A cab is coming to get him. He's living for Paris apparently."

"Paris?!" Alexandria whirled around and ran out the bedroom doors, still in her night clothes.

_No no no no no!_

She ran as fast as her legs would allow. At first she had not the slightest idea where the parlor was because her mind was so scrambled, but she wouldn't allow that to stop her.

Down the hall, Alexandria saw a group of servants removing the large picture of her family from the wall and knew that she was heading in the right direction. The servants caught eyes of her and smiled, readying themselves to greet her, but soon realized that they should look away, seeing that she was indecent.

Flying past them, Alexandria grabbed hold of the staircase railing and used it to help her turn to head down the steps.

"Sairi!"

She stopped still halfway down. Her hair was a mess and she was huffing madly, her night gown hanging off her shoulder. Down the stairs Sairi was bent over to grab his two suitcases. He froze when he heard Alexandria's voice and looked up to her.

"Lady Alexandria?"

Alexandria was still breathing hard and she wasn't even sure what to say to him. All she could do was stare. Sairi straightened his back and left the bags on the ground.

"Good Morning Lady Alexandria."

"Good... Good morning Sairi," Alexandria went along with him, seeing she wasn't sure how to form the images in her mind into words.

"How are you?"

"I... I'm good," she started down the stairs and stopped at the foot of them, not wanting to stand before him.

"You were always bad at getting ready in the morning."

"Well, that's why I had you..." she looked down, speaking sheepishly.

"That's true," Sairi started to close the distance between them, "Well, is there a reason why you came down to the parlor on the time of my departure?"

Alexandria looked up, desperate, and jumped slightly to see Sairi standing before her.

"I-"

"You?"

"I wanted to say something..."

Sairi waited.

"I wanted to say that I am sorry..." Alexandria gathered her gown into her hands.

"It's okay, there's no need to," Sairi's voice was soft.

"Yes there is!" Alexandria stared into her former butler's bright green eyes, "I wrongly accused you, it must have made you angry at me. I don't want that, I don't want the kindhearted Sairi to be angry at me."

"Well, I'm not angry at you," Sairi sighed, "You were just anxious to find out what you could about your brother. So it's fine, don't worry about it."

Alexandria looked back down then, trying hard to find out what to say to make this moment last longer.

"Where are you planning to go Sairi?"

"Back to Paris," Sairi looked to the left, "I have family there who could use the money that I made here. There's no where else I can go."

"Oh..." was all she could afford to say. She was ready to cry, but she wouldn't allow herself to. In the past three days, she had shed enough tears and didn't want to shed more.

Sairi sighed again and looked down at Alexandria. "My Lady."

Alexandria looked up and was met with Sairi's lips against hers. She was surprised at first and was even ready to push him away and yell that Alexander was the only man she wanted in her life, but was that even true? For the past two and a half days she didn't talk to Sairi was like walking alone in darkness. It was so lonely. And now, even though she had her brother back, her heart was still breaking. Was it because the thought of Sairi leaving was just too much to handle? Was it the thought of never seeing him again, the thought of him falling love with someone else in Paris, just too much for her heart to handle?

Was it?

Alexandria leaned into the kiss and held Sairi's clothes in her hands, pulling him close. Why was it that this kiss was much more meaningful that her reunion with her brother?

Why?

Sairi wrapped his arms around Alexandria and he himself was ready to cry. He didn't want to end anything like this.

Why? Why why why? Why did it hurt so damn much to be kissing him with the knowledge that as soon as they broke away that he would leave her behind? Was a kiss supposed to be this poisonous?

Sairi couldn't let go, he didn't want to, it was as though this kiss was everything the two had left. It was like their last conversation, their last laugh together, their last time touching.

Alexandria suddenly knew, just as they parted slightly for breath and went back to each other to lengthen the kiss, why this hurt so much. It hurt because, she did indeed, more than she thought she did, or allowed herself to believe, loved Sairi. She loved him so much that parting was just too dreadful. It pained her like a sickness.

They finally parted one last time and held each other. In a desperate attempt, Alexandria held Sairi tightly and begged.

"Please don't leave, don't go."

Sairi closed his eyes and listened to the girls attempts to say the right words. He wouldn't say another word until she said them. If she did, he knew that the question he had in mind would be appropriate.

"I was a fool to blindly seek after my brother this whole time and not look upon you more fondly," now tears fell down Alexandria's face, but it did feel like her heart was bleeding tears in replacement, "I'm so sorry Sairi that I hurt you for so long and pushed you away...."

Sairi waited, praying quietly.

Alexandria searched her mind for the right words, but found nothing, what could she say? What had he said to her that made her feel happy? The same words he said should be the words that would set things right, no?

She pushed him away at this point so she could see his face, but didn't let go of his hand.

"I know what I need to say..." pausing, she looked down, "But I'm not sure how to say it."

Sairi smiled. "Just say it. Be straight forward, don't beat around the bush."

"But Alexander..."

"Just say it Lady Alexandria."

Alexandria tightened her grip on Sairi's hand and for the first time in four years, Alexander was the last thought in her mind. Looking down, she said, "Sairi, I love you."

Sairi's knees buckled, but he caught himself and grabbed Alexandria into a hug. He smiled madly and held her tightly.

"Then, Lady Alexandria, come with with me to Paris."

Alexandria pushed him away once more and looked wildly at him. "Paris?"

Sairi nodded, his smile plastered to his face.

"But-"

"Go Alexandria."

Sairi looked up to the balcony and Alexandria turned to look too. Her brother was there, leaning against the railing on one hand. There was a soft smile on his face.

"I already have much of your clothes packed and already have them packed in the carriage which is ready to leave for the docks."

"But Alexander, what about you?" Alexandria asked, "I finally found you and your telling me to leave?"

Alexander nodded, "You have lived with a burden on your shoulder's for far too long, so just go," he paused, "It's not like I'm going anywhere this time, so I will wait for your every visit back to me, but I know, just as your heart does, that you are not meant to be here in London."

Alexandria stared long and hard at her brother, but could not find any way to argue with him. It was true, she just couldn't live without Sairi, it was too hard. She needed him, not her brother.

"Alexander."

"Yes my Lady?" Alexander smiled.

"You better not go anywhere," she said proudly, as she fixed her posture and pointed at her brother, "Cause I _will_ be coming back."

"And I don't have the slightest doubt that you will not."

Sairi placed his jacket over Alexandria's shoulder and looked up to Alexander with a look of respect. Alexander looked at him too and nodded.

"If I get even the slightest message you've been bad to her, I'm coming after you."

Sairi chuckled. "Not to worry, I didn't spend four years looking after to her to start abusing her," Sairi placed his hand in Alexandria's and started to pull her towards the carriage. At first she came willingly, but then she stopped, pulled her hand free from Sairi's and ran to her brother and wrapped her arms around him.

"I will miss you!"

Alexander's face softened, smile gone and hugged her back. "You be good," was all he would allow himself to say, because if he kept on talking, he would definitely find a way to keep her here.

Alexandria let go, her brother let go slowly, then she turned and ran back to Sairi, not looking back once more.

Alexander watched painfull and started to cry heavy tears and hid his face in his hands.

"Good-bye my dear Lady Alexandria."

-

In the carriage, Sairi started telling Alexandria about the homey cottage they would be staying in for a while with his family. Alexandria listened intently, constantly nodding and Sairi was happy to know that she was genuinely interested in his family, but as he spoke, he couldn't shake what Alexander had told him when he fired Sairi. He fingered a hard cover book in his pocket and it took everything in him to hold himself together, for his master's last words were just too painful.

"I'm going to fire you," he had started with.

Sairi was ready to strongly oppose, but Alexander intervened.

"And when I do, I want you to take Alexandria with you."

Sairi wasn't sure how to respond.

"You see, I knew that there was poison in that tea, so I took it knowing it was for my sister. I did it to protect her, but I ended up with a unhappy past four years..."

"I don't understand my Lord."

"You see Sairi, that poison terribly weakened my immune system," Alexander paused, "And when I was sent into the world of poverty, everything just got worst. I don't know how I survived for the past four years, maybe it was my hope to one day see Alexandria again, I just don't know, but there is something I know for sure.... I don't have much time left."

Sairi listened, unsure if he was hearing correctly.

"I am deteriorating fast, I know it, but I don't want Alexandria to be here when I die for real," Alexander looked down, the expression of depression on his face. "Don't worry, the will only has your name and my sister's name on it. Everything will go to you without a doubt, my father and mother will not have a say in it... And when word gets to her that I am indeed dead, I don't want you to allow her to come to my grave."

"But-"

"No, don't allow her to. She will come and she will not leave, she will live on my grave, full of grief. So Sairi, the man who has kept a tight hold on the only thing that is precious to me in the world, I ask you," Alexander looked at Sairi, eyes watery, "Please, please look after her."

Sairi nodded, speechless.

Alexander held out his hand then and in it was a large book. "Everyday that I was out there, I wrote in this dairy. My thoughts, how I felt, how I survived, everything is in here, and I wrote it for Alexandria. And on the last page, I have a letter that she must not find until after my death... I don't want her running back here to just be held down by the shackles of my death, so wait, okay?"

Sairi nodded again and took the book. "I understand."

"Sairi, this is my last request that I will ever ask of you, so please, carry it out well," Alexander stood tall, and allowed the tears to fall. He did not wipe them away, for they were nothing to be ashamed of.

Sairi bowed in a sweeping motion and replied, "Yes, my Lord."

-The End-


End file.
